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A Letter to my Foreign Friends (Living in Distant Lands) Warning: Politics involved!

Friends, Amigos and Acquaintances,

I hope you are all well and sorry for the delay in getting you updates. It has now been four years since I came back to the States and what a ride. I got a nice job and joined corporate-land where they use the English language in a strange way such as say they “have so much on my plate,” and other metaphors which take me a minute to “digest.” Things are going well but I have to say I’m really envious of you all at the moment because I’m really missing life over there!!

Life in the USA for the most part has been pretty good. Of course San Francisco is a bit different from what I’m used to but I love the diversity and the weather! Also, SF has some killer technology. Yep, no blackouts by censorship or by power failure.
But boy, sometimes I wish there were. You see, everyday I pick up my awesome Iphone and read the news. This is where the problem lies. One would think by reading the “news” that everyone is extremely angry!!!

It’s not that everyone is really pissed off but the media would make us think so. You see, something close to national healthcare was just passed. No, it is not as good as what you have in your countries but is a step in the right direction. Man, I remember being over there and only having to pay the “foreigner price” of about $25 US for a doctors appointment and the prescription. When I got back here a visit to the doctor which gave me the same information I could have found on Google cost me $150 plus medicine. I then got a job and the co-pay was $25 so thank God I found a job and could let the doctor pass that horrible expense on to my employer.

Actually, I do not need to visit the doctor, almost never!! The only problem is the diet in this country makes you really fat and unhealthy so I’m trying to stick to “ethnic” diets. Otherwise I would be about 250 pounds. I only have to go to the doctor if my employer tells me to because I missed too many days of work and need a doctor’s note. This note costs them about $110. LOL suckers!!!!!

But anyway, we almost got something in terms of healthcare close to what you enjoy in your countries but it would seem everyone is really upset about it. Again, it’s not actually that everyone is *actually* upset but the media would make you think so. Here we have something called Fox news which is a bunch of prom queens, ex-quarterbacks and various neanderthals that like to yell and scream and generally get everyone into a tizzy because Obama won the election. Ever since he took office it has been one big complain-fest.
Yea, I know, Obama promised to stop having America fight all these wars that were unfunded and yea, it was in the Bush presidency in which our national deficit killed the surplus that Clinton created but Obama can’t really fix all the destruction Bush caused in just under a year you know. The problem is that everyone expected him to and the Republicans are really hounding him about it.

It’s not like they were born pissed off but Fox News made them that way so you have to cut them some slack. If you focus their attention on sports then they will forget the Fox talking points and start saying “This team or that SUCKS” or something like that. The trick is to divert their rage to sports and it works quite well!!

Unfortunately, they will watch Fox News again which claims to be “Fair and Balanced” but is the exact opposite. You see, in America you can outright lie and it is still ok. For example, the credit card companies will send you applications so you can have a low rate and then jack it up 2000 percent. Stores will tell you, you can “save money” but actually you are spending it. Yea, I know that we had trouble in the open air markets with always trying to bargain but here in the USA it is already built into the price so people think it is ok to pay outrageous prices. Better hope that the businesses in your countries do not get MBA degrees from our universities!!!

Getting back to Fox News they really have convinced a lot of people to be angry all the time. These same people have nice big houses, cars, and even air conditioning!! You would think they would be happy but no, material things do not create happiness. In the state they are in there will always be one more thing to be unhappy about.

It makes me smile when they say things like “America is trending towards socialism.” It is not that they are being creative using nouns as verbs but rather the fact that they don’t even know what Socialism is. They most likely have never been out of their city and most likely do not hold a passport and even if they could identify where France actually is, they would not realize that it is a Socialist country. They like to put down France a lot. Hell, at one point they even tried to change the name of “French Fries” to “Freedom Fries!!!” LMAO!!

They also do not realize that France was a major factor in helping the USA gain independence from Britain (Sorry Brits!) but instead just put down the country because the other boneheads on their Fox news shows do it. They seriously think that some guys in coonskin hats beat the British army all by themselves. LOLZZZ. Can you believe it!!!! You should!!

But what is really scary is the polarization happening politically now. I’ve actually had people wear “No Obama” T-Shirts and try to get me to debate while I was just walking down the street! Further, we have been having some major splits recently not only between Republicans and Democrats but also between major institutions such as the Catholic Church.

Recently, the Nuns finally put their foot down and told the priests what to do with themselves. As we all know the Nuns are actually the ones that “do the heavy lifting” as we say in business-speak. They run the hospitals, teach the students and make things happen. The priests just sit around and tell people to “have faith” and “it’s a mystery” and stuff like that. I wish the Nuns would have the priests write “I’m a stupid old fart,” 1000 times on a blackboard I swear.

But anywho, what I really miss are the great debates we had. Here, people just recite the same boring talking points they heard on Fox “News” which can get quite ridiculous. This one lady Sara Palin said she could see Russia from her house (she could not) and that we should start another war with Iran. AND PEOPLE BELIEVE HER!!! Heck, they even made her a regular news anchor on Fox!!!

It is not all my countrymen who are crazy, just the ones that listen to the prom queens on Fox News mind you. What really concerns me is even respectable people that were carefree and happy have turned into grumps that complain about everyone having affordable healthcare.

Here in the states they keep complaining about debt which is in fact a problem. One that Bush created with two unfunded wars. Actually, he even increased Medicare which is like healthcare but only for the old people. There were no problems when he did that but now that Obama is trying to get everyone under the umbrella you would think it is Armageddon. So basically when Bush tinkered with healthcare everything was dandy but now that Obama does it people are in a rage.

In fact, the Republicans have a long list of awful things they want to accomplish. To sum it up, the Republican view would be:

1. Go to war with Iran
2. Elect a moron like Sarah Palin who can see Russia from her house.
3. Deny others healthcare except for old people which is ok.
4. Create more pollution by drilling for oil so we can drive bigger cars than we already have.
5. Bitch about debt when it was under Bush’s watch that the surplus went away.
6. Argue about Climate change so eventually everyone can breath in the pollution we know is atrocious in certain cities already. Man, even in the Bay Area you can no longer see to the other side very clearly. Instead, you see a hazy brown outline of the mountains on the other side.

And to add to this nonsense they are into calling everyone “A Great American” and keep saying things like “The American People believe
…” and so on. It is almost like the propaganda we were used to except they treat it as REAL NEWS instead of simple propaganda that people can see through. I’m not sure how long it will be until we find a word just as useful as “comrade,” because “You sir, are a great American,” just takes too long to say. Perhaps they could say “Americanissimo,” but that would perhaps sound too Spanish and that is another can of worms I’ll have to address later.

Anyway, I know we had some troubles living in countries other than our own but I swear it is better than everyone being angry all the time like in the USA. Even just driving your car, the road rage that goes on here in the cities would make your head spin.

And oh yea, I read a debate about if John Kerry got a purple heart or not and again, people got really mad. There of course was no debate about the Gulf of Tonkin not being the North Vietnamese fault or about the millions of people killed there. You see, a certain portion of the population only cares about their own, not what they do to other countries. So they showcase personal stories only about US personnel and how they are coping after war. I have yet to see an equal story about the hardships that were inflicted on people living in the target country. It would seem the media really doesn’t care about all the foreigners they killed and if they do they are all just branded “Terrorists,” or a generic term they created called “Collateral Damage.” To be honest, war is entertainment now and even if things go very wrong the population has a very short term memory.

They simply cannot understand that when a simple villager sees a warplane come to drop a bomb on his village and kill his family that what the villager should recognize is that the plane is really dropping 1000 pounds of FREEDOM on the village. Besides, they are just watching it from their comfortable armchair in their living room and believe that all is just dandy. After all, the plane did not drop 1000lbs of Freedom on their neighborhood so why should they care.

And you know, those kids we saw all deformed from the chemicals, well a certain portion of the population has already forgotten about that and even if they did remember it was all in the cause of Freedom anyway so IT’S ALL GOOD in their opinion. All the devastation caused is barely a flicker of a memory except of course for the adventuresome folks such as yourselves that see it firsthand.

Sorry if I’m getting upset but living back here in America is sometimes very hard on me when I watch the news and see all the spin. It’s not that day to day life is hard, or trying to ignore all the sales pitches, or the reality TV shows which teach people to be degenerate, or the state of politics in which some people believe there will even be another CIVIL WAR due to healthcare. I just really miss the incredible debates we had and all the amazing insight. Instead, I am subjected to a nice dose of hate every single day in the news media from spoiled over-privileged folks that believe just because they were born here and afforded a good education believe they are entitled to everything and everything.
So, thanks for listening and I hope to see you guys sooner than later. I really just needed to vent and it’s impossible to do so here unless I meet another person who has spent time abroad and understands how things really are. Don’t worry about the USA, it’s still a great place to visit, especially San Francisco. But if you see someone with a placard around their neck screaming racist remarks and spitting on you please walk in the other direction. They have just watched too much Fox “News.”

Categories
Journal Politics

10 Minutes of Insanity – Post gets worse as it goes along.

There is nothing like the “news” in America these days. Actually, most programs which claim to be “news” are really just opinions. Yet, these “opinions” are really just emotional outbursts which center on certain talking points. The talking points revolve around central themes which just happen to orbit two centers of gravity known as political parties.

News used to follow the format where “such and such happened and this is the outcome.” Now, it would seem that on one side it is more “such and such is happening which IS DESTROYING AMERICA.” In the other camp the retort would be “Don’t listen to those knuckle-draggers as most of them probably didn’t graduate High School.” As the media portrays things one side is pissed off 24 hours a day and the other side is elitist and snide.

For me, I’ve spent enough time “out of orbit” and read enough that my opinions might seem like they are coming from deep space or perhaps even another dimension. So without further delay lets get into them.

1. Outrage

– This is the new brand of news media. It doesn’t matter what the topic is you have to be outraged by it. It’s like trashy reality TV but actually about serious issues. The networks know that if they are able to get people fired up, their viewership will increase which will be better for ratings. These ratings translate into advertising dollars so the more outrage the better. Once you get enough viewers one can even start selling GOLD!

The majority of this outrage is usually contained in the manufactured world of the news media. But like nuclear radiation has a fair amount which slips out and infects the population. Therefore, when I’m walking down the street I do not see most Americans yelling and screaming at each other, but like proper city folk you do your best to avoid eye contact, ignore everyone and get to where you are going. However, here in San Francisco, the infected do actually have protest cards around their necks and are asking me to be pissed off about something too.

When we were in Lake Tahoe last week there was a fat, bald, middle-aged white man with an Obama T-shirt on that said “Hopeless.” My wife had just taken a picture of the inside of our hotel and he asked “Do you want to take a picture of my T-Shirt?”

Well, first of all my wife doesn’t give a rats ass about politics in the USA as she is not from here. Second of all, why would my wife want to take a picture of a fat, middle-aged white man who likes to be pissed off and wear T-shirts to make other people mad as well? If we think about it, this fat, middle-aged man could actually be a nice representation of what is happening on a larger scale. He is in a beautiful place like Lake Tahoe, staying at a nice hotel but chooses to be pissed off. People like him who live in a nice place like America, have a bunch of possessions and the highest living standard in the world want to be pissed off too.

The problem here is not so much arguing about who is president and if healthcare will pass or not but rather the fury the media is generating will continue no matter what happens. I could not imagine watching Fox news and not having them be pissed off or something. Imagine if healthcare fails, Obama loses the re-election and the USA installs a nice middle-aged white WASP who drills all the oil out of America and cuts all the taxes. Would it be possible for Fox to stop the outrage? NOOOOOOOO!!!! Their entire model is based on outrage so they will have to find something else to harp on. (And of course the Republicans wouldn’t cut all the taxes)
I could not imagine Beck standing in front of his chalkboard and have nothing to write. Well, perhaps I could and he would write “America is beautiful today.” Then, the show would be boring, viewership would decrease and the man would lose his job. If Beck and O’Reilly cannot find something to go berserk about they would all lose their jobs!!! So, in fact, they are really reliant on the Democrats for their own job security!

Their audience would then turn to other sources and I wonder what the future themes would look like? Let’s take a stab at it.

1. War

– There must be somewhere to make war and a country who is just not enjoying enough Freedom. What they would do here is to find a country without enough freedom but not strong enough to really hurt America. Then, they send all the soldiers over there. The Democrats will cry to bring them back but the Right would say NO, those people need freedom! Then they can make “freedom baskets” or start programs like cell phones for troops and all the SUV moms would have something to do to support the soldiers. The soldiers cannot come home because then there would be nothing for the Soccer moms to do. First you have to put them into a war, make sure they stay there and then make signs to support the troops (but not enough support to actually bring them back, just enough to send them cookies or something.)

2. Set up Democracy and build up the economy

– For the democracy part we divide the natives up into two camps with the goal of getting them to fight each other like the Republicans and Democrats do. Introduce universal health care so they can create media programs which make the rest of the population OUTRAGED! Some countries already have universal healthcare and some have no healthcare at all. We could introduce the American way of some people having healthcare and others have none at all and then it would be perfect because they would then have something to be angry about just like us.

– Then send over our world beating companies to employ everyone while taking jobs away from Americans. Sure, the Americans without jobs would complain but they could just blame it all on the Democrats because they are too weak to put belligerent talk show hosts on the air. So any subsequent problems are just blamed on Democrats,,,,,, or the president,,,,, so long as he is a Democrat.

The profits from these world beating companies are thus transferred back to the country of origin which depletes the wealth of the conquered,,,,er,, I mean country that needed more freedom. But hey, the workers over there make $1 an hour and are employed which looks good. For the American workers out of a job we can just blame it on the Democrats as they are the source of all problems. AND speaking of freedom…..

3. Freedom

– I don’t understand what this is. For as long as I’ve lived in America I cannot remember being free. They first made me go to school for the first 18 years of my LIFE!! We were controlled by tyrannical despots who made us sit in unmovable positions for 8 hours a day. Then we graduated but simply moved to another place called an office where we have to sit for 8 hours a day and are controlled by a tyrannical despot now know as “the boss.” We have to get this paper product called “money” which we then have to give to other people so we can buy land and a house or some form of shelter.

Sooooo, we are stuck in an office only to give our reward (money) to other people so we can not get rained on. The only light at the end of the tunnel is retirement when we saved enough paper products to do what we really want to do but then are 70 years old so have to spend it pretty quick.

Furthermore, there are these things called taxes. No matter where I go it seems like these “taxes” keep appearing and taking my money. I used to enjoy tax day as it meant the government gave me money. Now, the government is taking it which I do not like very much at all. Where I ask, is the freedom from taxes??

To me, this doesn’t sound like freedom at all. Somehow, it looks a lot more like society where one has to abide by innumerable rules and if the game is played right can have more time to do that which one truly enjoys.

So what does true freedom look like? Well, first of all I would have ditched school just as soon as I was able to comprehend what was going on. Then, I wo
uld go out into the countryside and claim some land. This would be a problem though because I think all the land is controlled by someone or other. If I check the city records it is probably owned by xyz corporation. I trace it back and xyz corporation bought it off zyx corporation who bought it off Farmer Jeb. Farmer Jeb was given the land by the Federal Government who bought it off the French. The French took it from the Indians. The Indians took it from other Indians who didn’t have strong enough bows and arrows.

So I ask which land I can have and am surprised to learn that all the land is controlled by some company individual or another. Therefore, I go really far out into the country, perhaps in rural South Dakota only to be surprised that I can have absolutely no land for free. Again, we return to the obtaining of this paper called money so I can buy the land which was bought from the corporation that was bought from farmer Jeb, which was bought by the Federal Government from the French who took it from the Indians who took them from other Indians who took it from the animals. It seems that if I do not play the game I cannot be free.

So, I hightail it to Canada but realize it is too cold up there. So I come back but then get stopped by these people with dogs known as Immigration. They ask to see my documents. I don’t have any documents so they tell me I cannot come in. I tell them I’m exercising my freedom from documents and they throw me into a holding cell. I tell them that in America we are supposed to all be for Freedom but they tell me we can only have freedom if we have documents.
Upon my interrogation I decide to speak only in Japanese. They get angry because they cannot understand Japanese. I try to explain that I’m exorcising my freedom to not speak English but this doesn’t get me very far.

At this point I forsake all my freedoms and speak in the language that will get results which is English. I ignore my freedom from documents and give them all my information so they can keep track of me and give me documents which gets me in the country. I relinquish my freedom of free time and find a job to get money so I can buy some land.

It turns out that the land I bought has very valuable minerals and even oil. I employ people to cut down all the trees, drain all the oil and strip mine for the minerals. People start complaining that I’m destroying the countryside and polluting. I exorcise my right to be free of corruption and pay off my congressman so he wins the election and provides me with permits to continue business. The toxins from the strip mining get into the water and cause everyone cancer. I exorcise my freedom to not care about my fellow human beings but to make everyone feel better start an advertising campaign with a leaf on it saying “It is all our responsibility to care about the environment,,,,, WON’T YOU JOIN US?” I even employ a guy with a nice soft voice who narrates the commercial for me.

Then I’m so rich I decide to take a trip to China to see what is going on over there. I half expect to be thrown into a state hotel and told how I am going to spend my vacation. To my surprise they are doing the exact same things we do in America except there are no Glen Becks or O’Reillys bitching about the government. I ask some students about their freedom and why their government doesn’t want to let them leave the country. I’m very surprised to hear that it is America that won’t give them visas!!!! It reminds me of my own time crossing the border from Canada and all the nonsense about documents. It appears that they require the Chinese to have documents too but most importantly the Visa!!!!

But back in America they are just harping on all the non-freedoms these people don’t have but from their point of view it is America that is hindering their freedom to travel to the USA. Interesting…. very interesting indeed….

At this point I come back to the USA and am determined to make sense of it all and glue my eyeballs to Fox T.V. Unfortunately after about three weeks of non-stop viewing the following just spews out of my mouth and I cannot control it:

SOCIALISTS, boots on the ground , hearts and minds, middle east, Democrats hate America, support the troops in that country over there which I think is located next to France, I like freedom fries, fair and balanced news, PRAY, FREEDOM, don’t take my guns, GOD, Terrorists, death panels, YOU BETCHA, Russia is located next to my house,

Categories
Journal Politics

Meet the Press, Crossfire, Face the Nation

I do not normally watch any of these shows, but “Meet the Press” was on while I had breakfast this morning and I had an amazing revelation.

First a brief description about these shows. It seems the formula that works is to put opposite views (Republican, Democrat) on each side of the table and then they debate various topics such as Iraq. However, what occurred to me is that they are always different American views! The revelation was that I have never ever seen a citizen of the country being debated actually participate!!!!!

In this age of technology, wouldn’t it be great to have differing views from citizens of the country in question included!! As there is no representation now, even two college students would do. From my experience abroad, I am always awestruck when I learn about how the other side thinks and what they teach which is always completely different from information I received in America. Take Vietnam for example,, even though I spent a large part of my life in American education I never once learned about the positive aspects of Ho Chi Minh and why he believed what he did. It was always one sided. The debates these shows have are simply two sides of the coin from the same American viewpoint. I’m sure a debate between educated Iraqis’ about the American invasion would prove so much more enlightening than people in Washington DC defending the Republican and Democrat viewpoints and would garner a huge audience.

The only time I can think of that an extreme opposite view was given the chance to speak was that of the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was allowed to speak at Columbia University. The fact that he was even allowed to speak was EXTREMELY controversial and to play well with the home audience the President of Columbia University disparaged Ahmadinejad before letting him speak.

This quote really drives my point home.

“Think of the irony,” said Mitch McConnell. “Columbia University, home of the core curriculum that prizes an in-depth understanding of Western civilization and the free exchange of ideas, is bringing to its campus a state sponsor of terror.”

Think of the irony of using that statement and “the free exchange of ideas” then saying it is wrong to allow the President of another country to express his ideas. Mr. McConnell apparently does not understand what the word “Irony” means. It would be “ironic” for an institution that values “the free exchange of ideas” to NOT allow the ideas of an individual to be expressed!!!!!! But perhaps the telling phrase here is “an in-depth understanding of Western Civilization, which therefore only includes Western ideas and not that of any other. In which case his use of “Irony” would be correct in that “the free exchange of ideas” only encompasses those ideas which come from the West and therefore does not include any ideas from Iran.

To be sure, the President of Iran doesn’t seem like such a good guy and the people of Iran hate their own government but he was democratically elected and the mantra of the USA has been to promote freedom and democracy. It just doesn’t work out very well when the “free people” elect a baddy. I’m sure the politicians in Washington are at one moment very pleased with themselves and then after the election is over are quite consternated. At that point it would seem much better to revert back to the other quiet policy of supporting an American friendly dictator like Musharraf (Pakistan) who overthrew an elected government!!!

Message to the creators of these shows:

You would do well to include citizens of the countries you debate in your shows. To me, it currently seems like you include people who have achieved PhDs’ on the subject but neither speak the language nor have ever been to the physical location of the subject of their studies. To simplify, it would be like a non English speaking Japanese who has studied about San Francisco but has never walked one of it’s many hills. Why would I listen to him???

Categories
Journal Politics

A Parody of the Media

A Parody of the Media

Everyday, I check a variety of news sources on the net, TV and radio and have found similar patterns in all of them:

HEADLINES!!

1. CNN

a.) Brittney Spears did something again!!!
b.) Paris Hilton also did something!!
c.) Why isn’t Nicole Richie doing anything?
d.) Christine Amanpour is desperately looking for a war zone to run around in and try out her new cross training Prada heels!
e.) Grace Under Fire is livid once again!
f.) Grace realizes that being angry all the time makes her tired.
g.) Wolf Blitzer admits his name is made up. And he is mad at Stone Philips for also making up his name.
h.) CNN admits that yes, they have been hiring from the Playboy Mansion.
i.) Man finds image of Jesus in his breakfast burrito.

2. Fox News

a.) The Democrats did something stupid again
b.) George Bush is the best EVER!!!!
c.) Announces results of Presidential election for 2012 and the Republicans win… What do you mean it’s too early???

3. French News – Le Monde

a.) The farmers are on strike.
b.) The transportation workers are also on strike.
c.) Protesters take over McDonalds and demand name change to Le McDonaldeau.
3. American news in general
a.) There yet another CRISIS
b.) SCANDAL!!!

4. Midwestern News

a.) The weather today is hot.
b.) Tomorrow will be rainy.
c.) Thursday will be hot again.
d.) Tune in at 6:00 for the latest on the weather.
e.) “Quiet Communities Count on Blasts of Noise to Scare Crows” (A real headline) – Realize the communities are longer quiet and are investigating into the cause of the mysterious noise.
f.) Evangelical from World Harvest Resurrection Hope of the Savior wants all Muslims to quit being silly and convert.

5. San Francisco News

a.) Gay people still really mad about Proposition 8. (Took away right to Marry)
b.) George Bush is an idiot!
c.) Homeless people have taken over our newsroom and are demanding “just two dollars for Alcohol Research.”
e.) Mayor Newsome — All your policies are stupid,, but you are still handsome.

6. Oakland News

a.) Three dead in gang violence
b.) The mayor chooses Yellow as gang color and is exploring corresponding hand sign.
c.) Police arrest mayor for being gangster but is then released as he dissolves police force.

7. Berkeley News

a.) Man sues for right to marry Oak Tree.
b.) Spiritual Leader known as “Moonbeam” arrested for living in tree.
c.) Moonbeam elected mayor.
d.) We should leave our houses and give them to homeless people.
e.) We are the most peaceful city on Earth.
f.) We created the Nuclear bomb but let’s not talk about that.

8. The Economist

a.) Why poor countries should listen to our advice about how to fix all their dumb mistakes.
b.) Zimbabwe’s Mugabe is still the worst leader in the world.
c.) Why aren’t the poor countries listening to our expert advice?
d.) We Brits found something else that is wrong with those poor countries.

9. Japanese News – Asahi Shimbun

a.) Why doesn’t the rest of the world understand that whaling is a good thing??
b.) Something happened but we will not say why nor give any details.
c.) Try the Ramen at “Murasaki” in Ikebukuro… It’s really really good!
d.) Foreigners just don’t understand.

10. China News

a.) All our policies are good.
b.) We have never done anything bad.
c.) Please leave our Olympic torch alone…. and don’t even think of trying to do that nonsense here… you saw what happened to Tibet when they tried.
d.) You can’t read this article because it never existed.

11. Latin American News

a.) New political party formed, has “Revolución” in the title.
b.) President want to change constitution so as to remain in power for life.
c.) President can’t change constitution so people elect his wife as next president,, currently working on male heir.

12. BBC
a.) Retains title as best news source ever!!!!
11. Market Watch
a.) STOCKS POST RECORD GAIN CAUSE THE PRESIDENT SAID ECONOMY IS OK
b.) STOCKS PLUMMET AS INVESTORS REALIZE REALITY IS “REAL.”
c.) STOCKS RALLY CAUSE THE PRESIDENT SAID REALITY ISN’T “REAL!”
d.) STOCKS PLUMMET AGAIN AS INVESTORS REALIZE THE PRESIDENT IS FULL OF CRAP!

13. The Bill O’Reilly show

a.) Bill is complimented on being “A Great American” for the 1000th time.
b.) Anything the Democrats have done recently or ever done is simply a bad idea.

14. Rush Limbaugh

a.) Rush realizes he really likes to hear himself talk.
b.) Rush has set record for longest elongation of the “S” sound at the end of his words and is wondering if he sounds gay.
c.) Everything I have ever said is right and please don’t listen to any traitor Republicans who are telling you guys not to listen to me.
d.) I have intimate dreams of me with Ronald Reagan.