Journal Entry – 7.9.2018

It is 8:49 PM on Monday, July 9th.  Today was the first day where I really got down to work in the new job.  I set appointments, made appointments, listened to conference calls but most importantly learned.  I learned that I need to hit the ground running and that I have a lot of free reign to get things done.  My boss is very busy so I don’t need to check for his approval on everything but can just get down to business.  Tomorrow I’ll set more appointments and with that this new life really begins.

Yesterday was a strange day.  I had absolutely no energy which was due to little sleep, a karate workout and sauna, steam baths and hot tubs afterwards on Saturday.  And so I began my binge watch of Game of Thrones.  I bought some frozen lasagna from Safeway which was very disappointing, so disappointing that I only ate a few pieces and threw the rest out.

This evening I’ve continued my binge watching of Game of Thrones and have just about wrapped up the first season.

My motivation for getting out and doing other things is non-existent;  I am still very tired from the past two weeks.  I do look forward to this alone time but when it finally arrives I no longer want it  I miss my family and find myself looking at their pictures.

When I was in Ohio I learned that an old friend had moved to the Bay Area with her family.  A few years ago they had the opportunity to move here but the offer wasn’t good enough.  It looks like a new one popped up and here they are.  I sent her a message inviting her and her family to my house on a free weekend but she never responded.

Old friendships are frail things when not maintained with face to face contact.  The years slowly erode what once was of a friendship and social media gives the illusion that a friendship is still strong.  I’m learning that I’m different from others:  I hold friendships as valuable things and remember what it was like in the past.  I’ve learned that many others do not and that you’ll find your true friends when you reach out after many years and they still come out to meet you.  So many don’t even bother to respond and that is a pity.

Life passes quickly and at middle age many people believe they are happy enough to discard friendships of the past.  In old age they will regret doing that, especially when they find their newfound friends dwindling.  They’ll look back at photographs and wonder why they didn’t bother to respond to an old friend who had reached out to them.  They’ll then realize their mistake.

In my life this first began after I returned for a visit to Ohio from Japan.  I reached out to an old friend asking to meet but she told me she could not as she was “dog sitting.”  I kept the door open but she didn’t bother to suggest another time.  And so she lost me as a friend and has found herself without very many.  Scenarios like this have repeated themselves throughout the years and it is at this time when my true friends remain.  They are the ones who are available to meet when asked although most of them do not make contact, do not send messages and often do not respond to messages sent.  I have a very powerful memory and have learned that most others do not.  The past slips away and friendships remembered just as one would look at an old painting.  It is beautiful but belongs in another time.

Categorized as Journal

By 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/