Journal Entry – 7.12.2018

It is 8:52 on Thursday, July 12th 2018.

I am still lethargic and tried.  I think I must be going through caffeine withdraw because I haven’t felt like this for an extended period of time before.  I have absolutely no energy.  I think it is caffeine withdraw because I always have coffee every morning since my wife likes to drink it.  I’ve now been coffee free for about two weeks and so what else could it be?  Perhaps beer withdraw since I drank a lot of beer which I never do during the trip to Ohio and Asheville.  Whatever it is, I’d like my energy back soon please.

I attended an SVBTA event today and the topic was branding yourself.  In order to brand  yourself you need to have consistency on social media and post often in order to gain a lot of followers.  What interested me about this topic is that for the past year I’ve been going in the other direction.  I prefer a peaceful life and anything social media is NOT peaceful.  I don’t care about followers, likes, posting or branding myself.  I prefer to be left in peace and to have only a few good friendships.  It is interesting how society is shifting.  I can post something interesting and get a lot of likes but if I reach out to people (whom are not in my immediate social circle) the chance is 50/50 that I’ll even get a response.  Through social media we’re becoming a vapid, shallow society where the deep and meaningful relationships are decaying.

I go on the internet and I still check Facebook and then I check the news.  It is amazing to me that in the whole universe of the internet I only check two or three websites a day.  I miss the beginning of the internet when you would ‘surf’ it.  That is to say you’d skip from website to website like an explorer looking for an unknown treasure.  It seems now that most everyone just posts on social media hoping to garner ‘likes.’  The internet tracks us and turns our browsing into profit.  Society has become mindless ‘posters’ hoping for a dopamine driven high through likes all while we are tracked, labeled and have become products.  This is a sad state of affairs.

And so I retreat from all of this, to my refuge which has always been there and where I can find peace.  That oasis is this very blog where I record my thoughts, my life and sometimes post a picture or two.  This is not for the sake of people reading it but for my own benefit to read many years from now.  This website is my home on the internet and I find myself coming to it more and more and the internet becomes more chaotic and depraved.

As for my current activities I find that with a lack of motivation and energy I’m watching a lot of Game of Thrones.  This is unlike previous summers when during my free time I’d play Warcraft, organize, clean, workout or do something constructive.  Now I just sit in my Lazy Boy recliner and watch a drama which helps me escape the melancholy through fantasy.

I do have a few more weeks left of solitude and really hope my motivation to do something, anything here soon.  I don’t like this frame of mind and am wasting precious free time.  I should at least get some reading done but I cannot even muster the will to do that.

So what will I do for the rest of the evening?  Well, watch Game of Thrones of course.

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/