Journal Entry – 1.20.2017

It is 3:48 AM on Saturday, January 20th 2018.  I woke up around 3:00 AM and couldn’t get back to sleep so why not get some things accomplished in the quiet, still morning?

I’ve had a nasty cold for the past two weeks and so haven’t gone to karate class.  Our Shihan never asks where we are or have been but I’m sure the class is wondering.  I won’t be going today either since practice is always strenuous and I don’t think my body is up to it just yet.  I do think I’ll work out this morning though because I haven’t done that in a while either and my body needs it.

Colds and the flu this year are particularly strong and combined with a lot of work stress are the main reasons I still find myself coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose.  At least I’m not hacking up nasty phlegm in the morning anymore. Yes, the cold, the lack of exercise and combined with work stress actually lead my mind to a bit of depression which further increased my lethargy.  Going to have to snap out of it today.

As for work, it is hard getting back into it after the end of the year holidays when things are generally slow between Thanksgiving and January 3rd.  Not only are the e-mails coming pretty quickly but I also had two big renewals due at the end of January.  One is already done and the other should be completed shortly. These are always nerve racking because they’re both around half a million dollars and if things didn’t go well it would really affect my numbers which in turn could affect my career path and thus change my life completely.  I’m pretty seasoned so handle the stress well but that shadow of fear and anxiety are always there, following me and at times can grow very dark and weighs more heavily in my thoughts.

But for now, things look good and I’m caught up with all my work.  These past two weeks I think I’ve spent more time in my shed/office/clubhouse than I did in all of December.  I’ve decorated the inside quite a bit and it seems more cozy and inviting to me now than our house does!  It warms up with the space heater to be quite toasty, the small rocking chair is a delight to sit in and everything is just about an arms reach away.  I’ve found that I really like reading and playing Zelda on the Nintendo Switch in there.  It is there I can have peace and quiet and really collect my thoughts whereas as soon as I set foot in the house it is noise, commotion and there will be some activity I’ll need to participate in or otherwise complete.  I’m half contemplating going out there right now as a matter of fact but I think I’ll stay here in my La-Z-Boy recliner in darkness except for the light of my laptop and the electric fireplace.

The time is now 4:07 AM and I think I’ll play Zelda a bit then either get another hour of sleep or go workout.

By 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/