Journal Entry – 8.22.2017 – Night

It is 8:44 PM on August 22nd, 2017.  This is my third post today and perhaps a record for number of posts in a single day by me.  Kai fell asleep early since he played very hard today which means I’ve got a little more free time than usual.  I’m still not back to my old routine, falling asleep early and waking up at 4:00 AM but I’m sure that will come soon enough.

And so here I am again in my clubhouse/office which is the shed out back. I’ve never written a post out here at night and thought that doing so at this time, in this environment might bring some new thoughts to write about.  Sometimes we just need to experience something different, even if it is a small change, such as writing in your clubhouse at night.  We fall into routines so easily which lead to static thinking patterns which lead to living a life on autopilot and before you know it many years have passed.

Here I am, in my clubhouse, writing a post on a cool Pacifica night.  My Ohio State night light gives off a dim light while my heat lamp a warm glow to keep me warm when the chilly breeze comes in through the open clubhouse door.

I can see nothing outside except for my garden lamp which is softly changing colors and the outline of the tops of the trees against a very faintly lit sky.  At this hour I hear the passing of cars against a low rumble of the ocean.  Later in the night, when all the cars have been parked at home the ocean grows louder providing a kind of white noise which induces sleep.  I hear my neighbor shutting his door loudly and I imagine the motorcycle neighbor will be home on her loud Harley although she is considerate at night and does quickly shut it off and never lets it run for too long after a certain hour.

I have both back doors slightly ajar so as not too let the house become too cold but still enable me to hear my son if he awakes or my wife if she notices the glow from the clubhouse and wonder what the hell I’m doing out there.  Japanese are very fond of routine and anything outside that routine – such as writing in your clubhouse at night – would be met with an “Ehhhhhhhhhhh??” This is the inquisitive sound the Japanese make when something is done unexpectedly.

At 40 years old I’m aware that my thinking has changed, even from just a few short years ago.  It helps that I keep a journal and can read my own thoughts from times past and this confirms the change that has taken place.  I’m no longer enamored with Facebook or what my friends are doing.  I rarely go out and when I do it is just for the occasional work event or perhaps to a friends gathering with the family which we haven’t had in a while.  I much prefer warm pajamas, a movie with the family and perhaps some ice cream.  I’m more concerned with my health and have begun working out more and paying more attention to what goes into my body.  I haven’t eaten Taco Bell in ages.

During the brief few weeks I was a bachelor I did get back into World of Warcraft and still am but it is almost time to shut it down again.  I need to be waking up at 4:00 AM and working out.  We need to be going to karate at least three days a week and to keep up this routine means I need to get to bed earlier.  The bachelor lifestyle needs to come to an end and the previous routine restarted.

This will most likely be easy to do when school starts for Kai in two days.  We’ll be back to the old routine and this will last until next summer when the family will take off for Japan again.

It would be great if I could find a job that lets me work from anywhere in the world.  Then we could take even more trips to Japan or I could stay longer.  There is so much out there in terms of work and so many ways that people make a living.  Many would kill for the job I have now which lets me work from home and have plenty of free time but I’m also aware that I must advance, even if it means taking on a different job.

The time now is 9:02 PM and I feel my eyelids getting heavy.  I hear the passing of airplanes heading to SFO and my neighbor seems to be going in and out of his house which I can tell by the slamming of his door.

As for things still needed to be done this year I’ve made great progress.  Today I accepted a proposal to power wash and finally paint the trim on my house.  I also have a guy coming to replace some tiles on the roof.  Both of these things must be done before the rains come in the winter and will give me great peace of mind when they are completed.  The other two items on the list are to pare back the branches which are growing and making our view of the ocean smaller.  I also would like to get the TV up on the wall and have some sort of hutch down below for the DVD player and soon, Nintendo Switch.

Time marches along and everything changes, slowly.  I’m getting older and am no longer the same person I was only a few years ago.  My kids are growing up and may soon stop asking me to come play with them which will be a sad day indeed.  Everything changes, but for now, my eyelids are telling me it is time to fall asleep to the dull rumbling of the ocean and hopefully the sound of engines will cease.

This makes me wonder if all the noise, all the distraction have impaired our ability to think:  we can scarcely hear that inner voice anymore, the consciousness which makes us who we are.  Instead we are ruled by tasks, by distractions, by the endless noise which is slowly driving us all mad.

And so, I’ll turn off the heat lamp and Ohio State night light and go into a deep slumber where my brain will try to repair itself from all the garbage it has collected today.  I’ll have strange dreams which I no longer care to write down and then start the madness again in the morning.

By 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/