Journal entry – 6.6.2017

It is Tuesday morning on June 6th, 2017.  It is a gray and foggy morning and just now I hear the garbage truck slowly making its way down the street.  Then I hear the roar of its engine and squeaking of its breaks I am startled for a split second thinking if I have put the garbage out or not.  Only once in six years have I forgotten yet the sound triggers the thought.

This time of year was my favorite as a child since school was ending, summer beginning and it was my birthday.  If I stop and just take time to remember I can feel, only very briefly, that excitement and joy again.  How great it was to be a child, joy and excitement come to you in a way that it does not as an adult.

It also does not help that the weather is gray and foggy here on the coast; there is very little discernible change in the seasons here; school for my son does not let out until the middle of June (very late!) and my work day continues as any other day of the year. I really want to enjoy this time of the year but it is turning out to be a mental effort than just simply occurring.

To add to the gloom I have a cold, my son has strep (again!), three fourths of the household are sick and my body is still a bit sore from karate.  On Saturday I had my green belt promotion test and had to fight four times in a row.  My stamina is not very good, I had a cold and I had to fight three out of four guys that like to go hard.  So, I got my ass kicked pretty good and even flattened by a leg sweep once.  My leg landed under me in a way that made me think it just might well be broken.  It was not broken but it was extremely sore on Sunday. The good news is that green belt is the threshold to be able to take other classes which are ‘advanced only’ as well as weapons classes.  So I’d say getting green belt is one of the major milestones.

I should also mention that we got some very bad news from family friends that has made us all feel very sad.  It seems to me that sometimes the men, the fathers, start making more mistakes around middle age and above that put the family in great jeopardy.  Their thinking and actions make you wonder if it is still the same friend you’ve come to know?  And so, this has also been on my mind the past two days and I really do not see it correcting itself or getting better.

I often wish we could put a pause on time when things are good and everyone is happy.  It seems to me that the baggage, trouble and problems increase as people age and it mostly works like this in the negative direction, much less in the positive.  Marriage, a first born baby are the high points and then it pretty much runs downhill with some ups but mostly downs.

This is what I’ve observed especially now that my contemporaries are around 40 but let me be clear, is not the case for me and my family.  For many years now I’ve come to realize how short and precious this life experience is.  I can create joy for myself and my family and it makes me feel good to do so.  I do my best to be a good husband and father and realize that I’m creating a life experience for my boys which I want to be fantastic.

The time is now 7:27 AM.  Due to illness the entire household is still asleep with the main reason being my son will not be going to school today.  There are two more weeks of school and I wish it would end now because I think he keeps getting strep from some kids there whose parents simply aren’t very good and/or do not realize their own kids have strep.

As for me, I should probably get changed; I do not think today will be too busy in terms of work but there are some items I really want to get wrapped up.

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/