It is 5:57 AM and my morning routine has gone well! I’ve been to the gym, put away/done the dishes, made the coffee, put on my fireplace DVD and even have about an hour to myself before everyone wakes up.
Looking at the number of hits on my posts I see the numbers increasing well above the normal junk traffic. As I wrote about previously there is a little voice in the back of my head telling me to take my ball and go home,,, I mean make my journal private. But then after a good workout when I can think clearly I’m able to quickly silence that voice. In this moment, in the quiet of the morning when I’m writing none of you readers exist; it is just me, my laptop and my thoughts.
One thought I had this morning that I’d like to write about is people are rarely able to express their true selves. Society and the various groups whether it be religious affiliation, company, or just the neighborhood we live in, condition us to act and think a certain way. This is clearly evident in politics where gerrymandering groups people who think a certain way by location in order for a specific political party to gain advantage. From birth we are taught what to believe, how to behave and so on. We all belong to various groups with one of the most encompassing being the country where we are a citizen. These groups all act as constraints and it makes me wonder if we are ever truly free, truly able to become an individual with unique thoughts, or does the fear of being ostracized make us put up a shield from which we can never break free?
I imagine many readers of this blog would think that I’m crazy for putting my journal online and open to the public for anyone to read. But I would ask you then, why not? What is there to be afraid of?
For me, it was my life overseas which helped me break free of many constraints. As I mentioned above I still have a voice that says I should hide these thoughts, but this comes from fear and I’m not afraid, especially after a great workout. Learning languages, living abroad and working out have given me a confidence to not care what others may think. The majority of them are still trapped in the constraints I spoke about above and will be for life.
The other thought I had was about religion. I’ve seen many of my acquaintances on Facebook start to post a lot about how much they love Jesus. I for one have come to the conclusion that Christianity is nothing more than a cult based on fantasy. But this cult does serve a purpose because looking at the life situation of many acquaintances, many who are left on their own often go off the rails and make a lot of bad mistakes in their lives. Christianity gives them something to hold on to which tells them everything is going to be ok. It serves as a guide by which to live their lives and hopefully lessen the mistakes. Therefore, even though I believe Christianity to be full of fairy tales I cannot fault others for clinging to this belief since the result would be a net good. And who really knows what is going on with this existence and reality. Nobody knows what is truly going on, what the absolute nature of reality and existence actually is. When one contemplates very deeply on this subject it can turn quite terrifying and religion can comfort. Here we are, flying through seemingly infinite space, on a small blue planet that could be wiped out by an asteroid – or by our own destruction of the environment – and although we’re trying to peer as far as we can into the unknown we still really have no idea what secrets the universe holds.
And on that thought my oldest has just woken up and I need to put him back to sleep. That is enough deep thoughts for the day and now I need to begin my tasks for the day, which add up to weeks, then years, until we are old and look back and reflect on our lives.
I’m just glad I’ll have something interesting -to me at least – to read.