Une soirée merveilleuse

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Un autre jour sans la famille.  I had thought I would very much enjoy this time alone but the expected euphoria has yet to arrive.  I feel nothing – except that I very much miss my family.

Having two small children is like running a marathon.  There are moments when the endorphins kick in – these are the special moments.  But most of the time it is just running, here and there without a moments rest.  Now that I have a break I only want to start running again: I want them to return.

I see them through Skype but that is like everything else on the internet.  There is no special connection, just faces and words.  I cannot hug them or play with them.  All I can do is speak and frankly they are much too young to pay much attention to me.  Even a beautiful evening such as this seems remote, my mind remains dull and devoid of feeling.

It is good to have a break for it reminds me of that which is most important in my life and that is my family.  All work, sunsets, things I thought I would enjoy lose all flavor and become as bland as a dry piece of toast.  It is a futile endeavor to try and return to the mindset I had when they were here and I was looking forward to this time alone.  That mindset was false, an illusion that turned to sand once I went to take a drink.

And there are nineteen days more to endure.

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/