This scene from the movie City of Angels has always remained in my mind and I thought I should write a quick post about it.
Although I no longer believe in the Catholic religion I was brought up in, I’m still a very spiritual person. Actually, I do not like to use that word “spiritual” as I think it has been corrupted and simplified by mainstream religions, so much so, that the true meaning has been lost.
For me, “spiritual” means the recognition that I do not understand my own existence; I do not know where I am or what is, outside of our nascent universe, nor do I know why I am here; I really have no idea what is going on except for what my senses have perceived through my experiences of the last 38 years; but I strive to know it and I make an effort to sense the unseen. I only know that I can feel a flicker of something, something much larger than myself and incredibly beautiful when I: see a sunset or sunrise, hear the joyous laugh of a child, ride my bike to the top of a mountain, dive into the water in the middle of Lake Tahoe, hear the wind gently rustle the leaves in a forest in Japan, see someone truly smile. The feeling only lasts for a moment or two much like the Angels in this scene where they can only sense God for a brief moment at the sunrise and sunset.
I no longer believe in a God that pays attention to us. I’m certain there are beings much greater than us and perhaps the hierarchy goes on infinitely outside of time and this universe. But when I see the sunrise and sunset I see beauty and I feel something which I cannot truly explain.