It is late Sunday evening and has been another busy day playing with my boys. My youngest, who is almost one year old, will only take his naps in the carrier and the wearer must be moving or he’ll wake up. His naps can last an hour or more which means a lot of walking around the house.
Now neither I nor my wife just walk around doing nothing during his naps. My wife usually cooks, does housework or uses her Mac. I on the other hand use it as an opportunity to exercise my memory; I put on my headphones, listen to a song from my past that stirs memories or emotions and concentrate.
I’m not just trying to bring back an old memory in the usual sense during these sessions; rather I’m trying to make my mind travel through space and time and live those moments again. I imagine those moments still exist, in perhaps another dimension, and continue on through infinity. During these times my body is here but my mind is reliving a moment in the past. This is very difficult to do and even harder to sustain.
Another difficult thing to do is actually finish a post in one sitting when you have two young children. It is now 11:16pm on Friday night – almost a week away from when I started this post. I’m trying hard to get back into the same mindset and thought patter I was having when I started this post and it is not easy.
So, I’ve put on Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall” as it is an album I used to listen to over and over in my little Sega cove in my room while in high school. Before I would go to bed every night I would sit in my faux-leather rocker, put on my headphones seen hanging in this picture, and close my eyes. The feelings we have in high school and emotions we go through are extremely intense when compared to the relative blandness I feel now at 38; those feelings left their marks in my consciousness and I like to try and refresh them once in a while by doing my memory exercises.
So what was I thinking about while rocking in my chair, listening to Pink Floyd in the dark just before bed? Well, I had a few different crushes so most of my thought was about them. Secondly it was about wrestling; I was on the wrestling team and that was one of the most grueling yet extremely rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. Girls, school and wrestling – that’s pretty much it!
Well, unfortunately I just cannot get into the right mindset and I really wanted this post to be a good one; so, I’m just going to go ahead and call it a night; I’ll go ahead and publish then write more when I’m able to coax my consciousness into traveling back to 1995. At the moment my consciousness is telling me to go to bed.