E-mail to Ryan / HS Humor

E-mail is a lost art. We don’t send them anymore and even when we did, most people weren’t very good at personal e-mails and could only manage one or two sentences in my experience.  I’d certainly like to save a lot of my old e-mails and post them publicly or privately on this blog as I take the time to try and write my friends something interesting.  So, in order as an impetus to get me started on this project, here is my latest e-mail to a friend that I just sent today!  Like me, he speaks other languages, has traveled the world.  He works for the US government doing all kinds of interesting things and I thought it would be fun to send him a link to the Soviet National Anthem.  His response was a once sentence question and contained the mother of all bad words.  So here is my response.
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It is the Soviet National Anthem. 
 
Now when people ask me if I’ve ever sent the Soviet National Anthem to a US government agent I can say, well yes, yes I have!  Cross that one off the bucket list; it required a lot of wine to be able to gather the courage! 
 
So how are things?  I saw on the FB that you were in town for one of your buddy’s wedding.  All your friends are eventually dropping off and soon only you and B will be left.  So how is the Korean chick from New York you’ve been putting off?  I’m still rooting for the Japanese girl, I’m telling you Japanese are the way to go!  Listen to your good pal Mateo on this. 
 
Life goes on here.  My 2nd son R was born about three months ago and my free time evaporated completely.  One child isn’t too difficult but now with two I rarely can even find the time to take a dump in peace.  K usually comes in to see what I’m up to and I really don’t need an audience. 
 
Well, keep in touch and I’d appreciate a reply that is more than one sentence.  And if it is one sentence I hope it would be more than five words and preferably without profanity. 
 
I imagine you’re still in DC, or maybe you got sent back since the whole Middle East went back to shit? 
 
Finally, since you didn’t appreciate the glorious Soviet National Anthem, perhaps you would prefer the latest cultural masterpiece from the US of A!   Here  you go, and I hope it brings a tear to your eye. 

 
魔手
 
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About the video, I just discovered it a few days ago while on the elliptical.  I fought so hard to stifle the laughter that tears came out of my eyes.  During the second part of the video I had to turn it off because I was going to explode from trying to hold it in.  
 
It is so juvenile but at my age which is 37, I find that “high school humor” such as fart, jokes and such, is an art in itself and merits serious anthropological study.  
 
Having said that, I can see some middle aged bleached blond soccer mom yell “grow up!!!”  Well, having been lucky enough to have had a vast array of incredible international experiences in my life I can confidently say that the things middle aged, bleached blond soccer moms concern themselves with does not an adult make.  Desperate housewives anyone?  
 
Fart jokes are funny.  Farts are a natural human occurrence and one may be subject to unhealthful side effects from holding them in; read the scientific proof here, Facts on Farts.  They are funny because socially we are not supposed to let them go in public, yet the come unexpectedly and often with such force that we have no other option but to either let them go or exert a lot of pressure to try keeping them in which again, may be unhealthful.  So when we let one go in the presence of others, it is embarrassing for the person who let it go and thus instant LULZ are suddenly created in the Internet parlance.  Lulz = fun, laughter, or amusement, especially that derived at another’s expense. 
 
So in reference to the video above, a video that celebrates flatulence so overtly when the prudes and prigs of our society forbid it is, in fact, extremely funny.  Those that do not find it funny perhaps have been holding their farts in for much much too long.  To those poor souls I say…….
 
Let-it-Go_0

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/