American Politics and the Need for Knight Errantry

I shall impersonate a man. His name is Alonso Quijana, a country squire no longer young. Being retired, he has much time for books. He studies them from morn till night and often through the night and morn again, and all he reads oppresses him; fills him with indignation at man’s murderous ways toward man. He ponders the problem of how to make better a world where evil brings profit and virtue none at all; where fraud and deceit are mingled with truth and sincerity. He broods and broods and broods and broods and finally his brains dry up. He lays down the melancholy burden of sanity and conceives the strangest project ever imagined…. to become a knight-errant, and sally forth into the world in search of adventures; to mount a crusade; to raise up the weak and those in need. No longer will he be plain Alonso Quijana, but a dauntless knight known as Don Quixote de La Mancha.

– Miguel de Cervantes

I have recently picked up my most favorite novel which is none other than the the formidable and chivalrous Don Quixote de La Mancha! I am quickly reminded why this is my favorite book of all time. To lay aside all reason and current logic of the day, to contemplate a world where virtue and righteousness are gained by the strong arm of those that see the world as it should be, not as it actually is, or even as logic would dictate it should be.

Hear me now o bleak and unbearable world, thou are base and debauched as can be.
Given the current state of American politics, I can see no better opportunity or need for the services of a Knight-errant such as Don Quixote could bestow! Currently, among the American political landscape we are faced with a battlefield of giants both real and imagined that it would seem only one with a dogged determination for good and the righteous could by his mighty arm smite with the lance while innately ignoring the pleas and remonstrations of those that are blind to the greater good.

If we were to contemplate one of the greatest issues of the current American empire then we would most likely focus on the health and well being of the citizenry. Until recently the good citizens of the realm were under the powerful influence of the mighty consortium of magicians, “The American Insurance Companies.” This dastardly group continued raising the premiums on the population while casting those with pre-existing conditions out into the wilderness to be devoured by the wolves of diabetes and other evil enchantments which afflict without warning.
The high council time and time again tried to combat this metaphorical dragon only to be cast down by the nefarious group now known among the plebeians as “The Party of No.” If one has seen the moving picture known as Monty Python one would see a striking similarity to the “Knights of Ni!” Yet, instead of repeating “Ni,” this shadowy group simply repeats the word “NO, NO, NO.” To combat such a terrific force the good citizens would indeed need to summon forth one who is oblivious to the pitfalls of the sorcery which in these dark arts is commonly known as POLITICS.

Footnote: Please do not say the capitalized word out-loud unless you have the proper incantations and amulets to protect you from the dread this word calls forth.
Many citizens have unfortunately fallen under this nefarious spell and now continue to repeat, “No, No, No,” as if their brains had dried to dust and wander the world under the scourge known as Fox, or in proper French “Faux News.”

I am afraid it will only take the services of a Knight-errant who understands no other than to right wrongs and pursue that which is supremely virtuous to save the citizens from certain destruction. Who among us will answer the call to ignore the voices of the uninformed and by the virtue of supreme good, do what needs to be done to save the kingdom.

Doing battle with the monster known as “Healthcare” is not for the faint hearted. In fact, one may lose his livelihood and by defeating the monster be cursed with the loss of a Senate or Congressional seat. They may be banished from the council, never to influence a decision of the realm again! Yet, this is the price one must pay to slay such a powerful evil.

We need a Knight Errant who only calls upon the peerless sanctity of “single payer” where all citizens are protected equally under this Holy Kingdom. He must deflect the *nonsenseries* of those sirens who spew hate and anger from their havens guarded by the spells of un-education and ignorance.

This joyous knight only will see the problem at its essence which is to guard all the citizenry or none at all. He will not choose to only save the rich and powerful while sacrificing those who do not know where or how to seek shelter from the flames of the beast. He will ignore the protestations of those that would leave the women and children to be devoured by the scourge of sickness when they do not have the means to procure balms and antidotes to ward off the malady.

He understands that the path of the righteous is to use the strength of his mighty arm to keep safe the weak and the poor and no argument sane or otherwise will deter him from this sacred task. He can plainly see that a good part of the population is suffering and will not heed to the threats of those that would see him put asunder. There is one way to slay this necromancer and weather it may cost him his own life is of no concern as the law of chivalry knows no compromise.

I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of la Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow!

This gallant knight not only must face the mighty dragon of healthcare but also do battle with such quandaries as (insert), (insert) and (insert)!

Footnote: Dear reader, it appears that a few pages have been lost and we are unable to ascertain at this time which problems are problematic in the space of time in which the author has set down these thoughts. Perhaps, through your knowledge and learning you may able to ascertain which issues our author may be referring to.

Hear me, heathens and wizards
And serpents of sin!
All your dastardly doings are past,
For a holy endeavor is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!

As previously mentioned, healthcare is only the first of the beasts our gallant knight must slay. Perhaps the next test of our hero will be none other than that which is as old as the dirt underneath our feet and the histories of which we read. This problem has already defeated all logic, reason and has slipped to the edge of madness. The emissaries of the kingdom have (recently) been disgraced and every effort at peace thwarted. Kings have fallen after bending all their will towards the problem only to see their efforts slip away as sand through a forced open hand.

As the problem was born of madness perhaps only an equally quixotic gentleman will be suited to the task. The language and mentality of the inhabitants of this far away land are understood by very few in our own kingdom. Yet, the influence of their guild, being faithful to their own kin mind you, are concurrently disproportionate to their size and thus retain undue influence within the kingdom. The power of this guild is unmatched and coupled with the sorcery of those enchanters at Faux News have convinced the plebeians to support only their side!

Our valorous knight being blind to undue influence or other nefarious tricks must again rise to the occasion, throw the gauntlet down and charge straight into battle without regard for his own wellbeing. As he is only able to see the problem on the simplistic basis which is inherently based on virtue and that which is good. He will unreasonably ignore all reason and purse the uncomplicated aim of simplifying the complicated to its base elements which are in fact,, ahem,,, complicated.

And how can it be simplified?


to mount a crusade; to raise up the weak and those in need.”

At present in this far off land, the “weak and those in need” are in plain sight. They are in such plain sight that the guild of the powerful has found it necessary to make them invisible. They have been forced off their land and at present no recourse seems to be at hand.

Yet dear reader this quandary is not as simple as it seems. In our current age, the scales have been severely tipped to favor one guild over another and thus one group of people are dictating what is to be done (or not done) with the other. Yet, over time the balance could be upset the other way and our Knight would find the same challenge only reversed.

Therefore, it is imperative we set our glorious Knight to this task as he is only able to see the unjust and is filled with a natural urge to right any wrongs and help those that are weak. Only then can we hope that this scale will eventually find balance and not drag the kingdom into expensive, unexplained wars. The guilds having undue influence have had the ear of our kings long enough! It is time to set our Knight to the task and as he is naturally incapable of succumbing to the seductions of those guilds which have undue influence. We can only hope that by his strength and unmatched burning for what is Just, can we hope that the weight of justice will eventually balance these scales.

In fact, there has been such a man who raised himself to such a challenge. This gentleman shall remain unnamed and although he valiantly tried to keep above the fray. Yet in a manner unbecoming of a Knight-Errant he has sent forth an agenda of compromise and reason based on the logic of both sides which combined, result in no reason being obtained at all!

Instead, he has now decided to mount his steed and charge straight into battle! The time for reconciliation and peacemaking has passed and our Knight has finally allowed the passion burning side to consume him and the course of justice to prevail. There are those that would see him fall by using the mystic scrying crystal which allows them to see the distant land of Rossiya from their humble dwellings where wildmen roam! Yet, this sorcery shall not prevail and the consortium known as Faux News shall be disrobed for the weak and frail ignoramus troll they are!

It is time to “right all wrongs, to mount a crusade! To raise up the weak and those in need. No longer will they be playing the feeble and ineffective bipartisan but a dauntless Knight known as Don(Insert) de (Insert).

Footnote: Dear reader, it is with deep regret to inform you that as we reach the climax of our story the remaining pages have been lost. Some have placed the blame on the moors, while others are certain they were devoured by a vortex known as “The No Spin Zone” where neither logic or truth have any hope of influence.

I however, shall not give up on my quest to find the remaining chapters of our valiant Knight. There surely must be innumerable monsters, beats and other evils that our hero has a mind to conquer. Yet, these tales are for another day.

“I have never had the courage to believe in nothing.” – Miguel de Cervantes

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/