E-mail to sister 5.22.2004

Hi!

Always good to receive such a long e-mail from you.  I see you’ve been
extremely busy as usual and I hope your taking some time to relax once in a
while.  I did hear about Grandma’s heart attack and I’m glad to hear she is
doing well.  I’m interested to see what green mugs you are talking about
because I’ve completely forgotten them. The only items I can really remember
from Grandma’s house are the grandfather clock, a “nice room” with a gate
that we weren’t allowed to enter, and a shaggy dog radio that I received.  I
also will never forget the only  time I crashed my “big wheel” into yours to
pay you back for the million times you rammed me and got yelled at by one of
mom’s brothers.  Where was the justice!?

Life is ok at the moment.  I’m torn about what to do about a job and H.
I do love H, but on the other hand do not want to do something stupid
like get married or any of that nonsense.  She would go with me to the USA
but I do not wish to go there.  Being abroad, my head becomes filled with
new ideas and ways of thinking.  I can learn many new things everyday
without making much effort.  If I went back to the USA I would feel dead
mentally, as well as trapped financially.  I would need an apartment, and
car and that combined cost would put me in debt for twenty years.  If I stay
abroad I do not need a car, and can rent a nice apartment for very cheap (in
Vietnam, not Tokyo of course) Being abroad I also have a point of view about
America that those in the USA cannot see.  I do not like the materialistic
culture, this addiction to brain-wasting television, and the “me first”
attitude.  American culture is degenerate at this point in time even though
there are a few strong holdouts of genuinely nice and good people left.  If
I went back I would hate my life.  If I’m lucky enough to work in Vietnam I
could be a janitor, have no money, yet ironically be the happiest person in
the world.

However, H is a big sticking point.  She does not want to go to
Vietnam.  But why should I hold myself back for a trifling thing such as
love which may just be a chemical in my brain or an affinity for the
familiar.  I know I think too much but this is philosophy and one of my
passions.  In the USA most people do not have so many options and usually
“settle” or convince themselves about this nonsense called “the one” which
is a silly fabrication from T.V. land.  But here in Asia, I have an infinite
amount of ladies to choose from!  Of course, I’m not a jerk though and I do
love H and her simplicity.  She is not materialistic, and her clothes
are definitely country style.   Her easy going personality and penchant for smiling are beautiful.

Yet, we are all young
and should not restrain ourselves for another person without first being
full people ourselves.  I need to have a decent job and be completely happy
inside to be the best I can be for another person.  Therefore, I think it
unwise to return to the USA where H would follow or stay in Japan where
I would become a cog and my whole life would revolve around a company’s
bottom line.  That is not life.   So, just like my own family, I may have to
separate myself from H for a while but this does not mean it will stay
permanent.  No one can know what the future holds.  Yet, I hate this fucking
decision.  🙂

As for your dating.  Make sure you choose someone you like, and do not let
culture, parents or nosey brothers influence your thinking.  Also, be sure
not to lie to yourself by trying to convince yourself you like someone.  If
you must go out with bad boys, go ahead.  You’ll get burnt but perhaps it
will quench your curiosity?  I believe I have successfully quenched my
curiosity of beautiful women which could almost be unprecedented for the
male species.  You see, here I can go out with an infinite supply of them.
Yet unfortunately, they must talk and the majority rely on their beauty and
do not develop other attractive qualities like personality, or conversation.
Therefore, it’s fun to go out one time with them but after that it’s better
they go away.  I find the best partner to be one who you can share a
conversation with and who constantly looks after your interests.  This is
what I love about Japan,, if we both honestly look after each others
interests all the time, then the relationship is as smooth as grease.  Yet,
I found that in my american relationships it was always I vs. You and if we
conceded once, we would expect to be repaid in full for this concession
with a return concession.  I do not like this system.

Ok, let me switch gears and come back to earth.  In the latest news Ron got
engaged.  I’m extremely happy for him and she is a perfect girl for the
Ronaldo.  He definitely needed that.

Well, I really wish you were going to be in Tahoe, because I have no idea
when I’ll be back in Ohio.  I really have no desire to visit there except to
see the You, Mom, Dad, peanut, and the new house.

As for your birthday gift, I really want to get you something good but I
haven’t been inspired yet.  Please give me some time to think of something
cool.  I don’t want to bore you with another Japanese item.  I do want to
send you a card though but I do not have your address!  Please send it to
me.

Take care and big hugs,

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/