Journal Entry – 3.1.1999

So here I sit, wondering where my life will go next.  College is and has gone by so fast.  I just got off the phone with Amanda and I miss all my friends.  Things have changed so much.  I usually am alone now, my friends from HS have gotten girlfriends and basically have a different life than I do.  I went on to college they did not. 

Not that one is better than the other but we live in two different worlds.  Going to Spain I lost a lot of connection with the frat.  Not that I was really involved in the first place but now things are so different.  My only solace is my computer to keep in touch with everyone I’ve met.  I am alone.  Where will my life go next?  It’s amazing how you can just stop and think how your life is so different than it once was.  It’s like a book and every phase is a chapter.  This is only a chapter that is subject to change with each passing day. 

Where am I going, what will happen to me tomorrow?  So many unknowns, so many fears and hopes.  So I end this entry not knowing what will happen tomorrow and how it will affect my life.  I’ve been through so much but still have the rest of my life to go.  One thing I fear the most is going through life like a zombie, not taking time to stop and reflect on who I am, what I am doing, what it all means.  Am I merely a speck of sand on an ever changing beach, or am I part of something more that I will only discover when I pass on to the next life.  Is there a next life or will I cease to be once I take my last breath.  To not ask these questions is to be a robot only going through the motions of life.  I guess the answer is to make the best of what I have right now. 

But will I fail?  Will I become the guy who sits in his cubical doing monotanous tasks or will I ever be able to make a difference.  Do I have the strength to make my mark in the world?  Do I have the luck? I am going to bed only to awake to a new day, to repeat the same motions, but to live life to the fullest.  To make the most of what we have is all we can do.   

Author: 魔手

Global Citizen! こんにちは!僕の名前はマットです. Es decir soy Mateo. Aussi, je m'appelle Mathieu. Likes: Languages, Cultures, Computers, History, being Alive! \(^.^)/