Recently in Politics Category

As I've grown older and more informed through various media sources I cannot help but be very disappointed in how we in America appoint our leaders. This race for the presidency seems so absurd, so childlike, yet is for the highest office in the most powerful country in the world. This post could easily turn into a rant about the idiocy of the American media and the stories (stories = a piece of fiction that narrates a chain of related events) they report on the race. However, it is best to go right to the source and the media has become little more than a biased parrot (both sides) that simply repeats what the village idiots (politicians) are saying. The following are issues that have been giving me a severe headache and have turned me completely off any news unless it comes from the BBC, NPR or the Economist. Others such as CNN or Fox are simply tabloids and I've ranted enough about them before.

1. Sara Palin - While I still maintain a small modicum of respect for McCain, that too has nearly dissipated in his choice for running mate. A lady that stands up there and speaks like Ned Flanders (okaly dokaly, golly gee) in such a slow, dumb manner makes me want to jump off a building. I suppose the rouse is to "connect" with the idiots in America. If we are looking to rebuild our image in the world, it simply will not do to have a VP who thinks she knows foreign policy because "Russia is close to Alaska." I can just imagine it now how she would explain the problem of Iran to her supporters. "Iran has been naughty-waughty and my son is in the military so if you don't support my son who is fighting the baddies then you hate America!"

Just thinking about her conjures up an image of some 40 something blond bimbo in an SUV who agrees we should attack everyone so she can buy cheap oil to take her litter to soccer practice and believes that her faith in Jesus justifies that America is correct in everything it has ever done.

Living abroad has been so beneficial yet such a curse because those that have experienced other cultures can see very clearly how stupid our leaders can be.

I about blew a blood vessel when I read the headline "Sara Palin accuses Barack Obama of associating with terrorists."

So to sum up the Republican argument

a. If my son is in the military, you better support it or you hate America
b. America has never and will never do anything wrong.
c. Jesus loves America
d. We Deserve to have big houses, big cars and will go to war to ensure it.
e. If you don't agree with us, you are a possible terrorist

I have posted about this before, but just to refresh, I find it very sad how in the American mind, any country that has religious leaders is usually considered a "fanatical" country. Yet, Palin is an Evangelical Christian (see crazy ass) and often refers to her faith. I see no difference between crazy religious leaders of another country or our own.

2. Rush Limbaugh - Just saying his name should make people roll their eyes. I listed from time to time just to get the blood going. Last I did, he was talking about news reports that said John McCain's stay at the Hanoi Hilton "wasn't all that bad." The media interviewed the director of that prison who said he had "amiable chats with McCain," and "McCain often gave him impromptu English lessons."

He was speaking in Vietnamese and Rush's argument was "if that's the case, why doesn't he speak in the so called English McCain has taught him.

Letter to Rush.

Dear Fat Ass,

As I'm sure you cannot speak any other language I'm sure it would be very hard to comprehend through that fat skull of yours the difficulty of learning another language. Just because many immigrants have learned English rather easily does not mean that it is easy to do so. They have achieved it because they are surrounded by it day in and night for years. A few "impromptu lessons" will simply not do the trick and anything learned would most likely be forgotten in 40 years.

Your entire career has simply been to speak English while you grew fatter in your chair while fantasizing about what you could do to yourself with that microphone. You have spoken English everyday of your life so of course English seems easy to you. If you could complete three sentences in any other language you might be forgiven and no "Yo quiero Taco Bell," Mi cumpleanos es..." or "Mi nombre es.." does not count.

You are a fat biased prick and should I ever become president, my first act will be to deport your sorry ass to Antarctica.

3. OHIO - The Republicans of Ohio have been acting up lately and trying to deny people the right to vote. They finally got a boot put in their ass by the Supreme Court and "praise Jesus" for that. Just goes to show how vile that party has become when they resort to taking away liberties afforded to every American. I fail to see the difference between that and the tactics some dictator countries use. The Republicans won before by not counting votes and are trying again.

For me, the issues do not even matter anymore. I've clearly seen how evil the Republicans can be and no matter how many times they try to scare me by using the word terrorist, I will never vote for you again. In fact, I don't care if Gandhi comes back to life and runs for office,,, if he is a Republican I will not vote for him. From this day forward, I'm voting only for Democrats on every single issue, in every single campaign. I will join the Communist party before I vote for another damn Republican.

It has been a very long while since I last wrote an entry in my blog. This may be due to the fact that life doesn't hold so many exciting discoveries when you're back in your home country and it's so easy to slip into monotonous routine.

However after watching the presidential debate I've made a very exciting discovery. I am now voting for Ron Paul for president.

Just hearing his name will cause most people to subtly smile as they know he will never be elected and is considered a bit "out there" even when they don't really know anything about candidates or politics at all.

The reason I have changed my mind is to a well traveled person such as myself, he is speaking the absolute truth that many Americans do not want to hear.

The Republican mentality is that of "America can do no wrong." They believe America must go attack other nations when "America feels threatened." And therefore, America must attack the terrorists before they attack the USA. However, Ron Paul is saying that one of the reasons people might want to attack America just may be due to American foreign policy of "supporting dictators," "attacking other countries" and bullying other nations.

And he is absolutely right.

The thing about most (if not all) of most of the candidates, Republican or Democrat, and like most Americans is that they've never lived abroad, learned another language, and thus can never understand a different mentality especially that of another culture. Thus, the thinking is always "us vs. them." Therefore, when Ron Paul explains that it is the bullying of other countries which creates resentment of America, the other candidates attack him by saying he is reading "their propaganda."

Every experienced traveler knows that a big portion of the world has really come to despise America due to the foreign policy. Terrorists are not attacking us because "they hate our freedoms," as the Republican candidates would have us believe. Terrorists attack for a variety of reasons to be sure, but if we fall back to 9-11 as the Republican candidates often do, shouldn't we look at where those terrorists came from and who is currently supporting their government? Perhaps it is not a question of who supports who but I'm sure the hijackers didn't wake up one day and say "ya know,, I really hate Americas Freedoms. Maybe I'll go hijack a plane and crash it into one of their buildings because of those damn freedoms."

However, most Americans really have no idea what goes on in the rest of the world and believe they are educated by watching CNN or FOX. These people are the majority and therefore will elect the president. Therefore, even though what Ron Paul is saying is spot on, he will not be able to win.

Republicans have become a party that supports and rewards aggression towards other nations. America will be your friend if you do what we say and we will give you money. However, if another nation takes the notion of sovereignty too seriously and it interferes with American interests, then American foreign policy is to interfere with the politics of that country.

It is my belief that most American people want peace. However, it is the government that has created a culture of fear in this country and have them believing the only way to be safe is to stay on the offensive and keep attacking others. The Republican candidates embody this and their ideology is "for security we must attack."

Yet, I have to be understanding in that most people have not had the opportunity to understand or even try to understand another viewpoint. If someone hates America and wants to do it harm, Republicans believe it is not necessary to look at the reason behind it, or even how they became that way. Their response is to attack. More often than not, the reason might be because of Americas own foreign policy.

Whenever Ron Paul spoke, the other candidates would snicker and smile. The good ole' boys club they were indeed. By snickering it sends the message of "I think your ideas are so ridiculous I'm going to make a silly face as though we cannot take you seriously." However, they knew Ron is a long shot so did not waste too much time piling up on him and concentrated their heaviest blows on each other.

It's ironic that the Christians are in the Republican camp. Doesn't Jesus say to love one another and turn the other cheek? That has definitely not been the course the Republican administration has been on nor are the current candidates advocating. Such hypocrisy baffles me. Perhaps that is "terrorist propaganda" as well? Speaking the truth has often been a very difficult thing to do throughout history and rarely wins you any friends, especially among the powerful. Jesus did it and look what happened to him.

As I click the button to post this on my site a scary thought just occurred to me. When I was in Vietnam and expressing my political opinion through my website I always had to think, "Am I going to get a knock on the door from the police the next day?" Now, I'm wondering if the American government will pick this up on their scanners and put it into my government profile. It makes me laugh to think how inefficient the Vietnamese government is and how they still probably use manila folders in big metal filing cabinets. Yet, I almost turn pale when I think of how much information the US government probably knows and how efficient it is.

As a last thought: Seriously..... President Huckabee????? How could the USA have a president with that last name... HONESTLY!!!!

Hey Intelligence Agencies!!! Good news, I found the terrorists!! I'm sitting here watching the news in California and they've just reported that gang members have killed two 14 year olds in the past week! If you're not too busy please use your "precision guided missles" to unleash some "shock and awe" in the city of Oakland. Random checks for weapons catches in the the Oakland city residents homes would also be advised since half the city appears to be gang bangers.

What is that you say? You are only allowed to do that in poor countries? What, you already deployed the National Guard to the border of Mexico to stop those "villians" who are just trying to make a better life for themselves? Nonsense!! I'm sure you could drop one daisy cutter, obliterate a couple city blocks in Oakland and the real terrorists would be done for! And just think, you could still make money by constructing a golf course, or perhaps high income housing in the new vacant lot! It's a win win situation!

A concerned citizen,

Mateo.

PS: You can skip the Castro area. The terrorists are sure to keep far away from there on their own.

PSS: Just so you are sure to receive this message as you are now listening, reading the private communications of ordinary Americans, let me make sure your scanners pick up this message. bomb bomb bomb bomb.

It's been a while since my last entry due to my moving back to America and I've been meaning to comment on this for a while. America seems mired down in this enigma of suicide bombings which they are having a very hard time stopping. I know that that there must be a lot of people with graduate degrees working on this problem but I think I've found where they are going wrong. You see, most people who are working on this problem most likely graduated from Hamburger eating, too much television watching, SUV driving America!!!! So what is their solution??? A FRIGGIN COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Gen Xers solution to the problem of suicide bombings is yes a commercial which after watching so many of them throughout their life must have thought, "Gee, commercials got me to buy a brand new cell phone with e-mail capability, sold me on losing fat at Subway, and I learned that by taking 8 different drugs a day I could feel happier, lose bad cholesterol, and run a marathon. Perhaps if we made a commercial then it will solve the problem!"

As luck would have it, I was able to obtain a few preliminary drafts of these commercials through my secret contacts in Saigon.

1. It starts out with a young Iraqi youth in a park sitting by the pond contemplating while the narration starts. "Are you feeling down and depressed by American oppression? Have you given thought to strapping a bomb to yourself and blowing the hell out of everyone and everything? Is this stopping you from being able to concentrate on your daily activities and leave you feeling,,, well Irregular? Then through the wonders of modern science we have come up with ZANIKS, the wonder drug that will not only starve off these murderous intentions, but will also help lessen your cholesterol and leaving you feeling like yourself again. Please call 1-800-UGO-America for your free bottle of happiness." Then very as the narrator speaks very rapidly "Terms and restrictions apply, side effects may include constipation, irritability, and hallucinations of grandeur. Not available in Samarrah, Falluja or the Kurdish homeland."

2. The second one is of a suicide bomber who suddenly gets hungry on the way to his target and decides to drop in subway. With every bite the bombs start dropping out from underneath his shirt and as the poundage is shed away he starts to smile until he is finished and skips out of the restaurant to go play ring around the rosy with the other unemployed young males whose family have already been bombed to oblivion.

If commercials don't work, then I heard they are thinking of introducing a new video game called "Infiltrating Iran Commandos" with the hopes of getting every disaffected Iraqi youth playing nonstop. If the game becomes popular then perhaps, they could get them to dream of sneaking into Iran, blowing up the leadership there, and thus kill two birds with one stone.

I however, having spent much time abroad have learned to think outside of the box and of something truly original. The solution to the problem of instability in Iraq is to put Saddam in charge of security!!!! Yes, he is a murderous dictatorial bastard but he is the last person who made Iraq secure and everyone there is afraid of him! It's like America has the Ace of Spades but is afraid to play it! Actually, wasn't Saddam the Ace in the infamous deck of cards? This is a rather ironic analogy but America should take that card and play it!

From the American way of thinking, Americans cannot understand why some "bad" Iraqis' are blowing up the infrastructure America wants to build and don't want freedom!!! My guess is America wants to control the government or at least get favorable oil contracts and cannot leave without at least something and this is what the "bad" people are fighting against. If it was simply a case of "Hey, we want to come in, fix your city, give you freedom and happiness" and so on then it would be stupid to try and stop it! But apparently we are at a stalemate and thus I think if America just promised to give Saddam his palaces back and a few million then he would be happy to put down this insurrection and could promise America favorable oil contracts!!!!

And yes, this idea is as ridiculous as playing commercials. So people in the red states, if you don't see the sarcasm please understand that it is a joke and don't leave messages telling me it's a terrible idea. Look "Sarcasm" up in the dictionary.

I saw the picture above today in the news and just couldn't help but laugh. As I sit here in SF contemplating my new job opportunities, I must admit that I've given a spit second thought to the NSA, CIA and FBI due to international experience and language abilities. However, in light of current events I nixed the first two because they seem,, well,, evil. But one long standing excellent government department has always been the dependable FBI who seem like the good guys. These guys are the ones who stop the Mafia, catch the "real" bad guys and make life good here in America.

However, this picture obviously does not help their recruiting efforts. When one thinks of the above agencies, you are thinking James Bond, Mission Impossible, infiltrating the bad peoples' hideouts like ninjas decending from above to karate kick those bad guys to hell. Unfortunately, this image destroyed all of that for me. It seems these dudes resemble Chris Farley more than a weapon of destruction. They look not only like they couldn't run a mile, but to make matters worse, they are wearing Mission Impossible sunglasses!!! And beyond that, the one on the right is wearing a Lance Armstrong bracelet that sports people are suppposed to wear!!! AND the one bending over has a FRIGGIN FANNY PACK ON!!!! You SIMPLY CANNOT BE COOL AND WEAR A FANNY PACK!!!!

The CIA and NSA may be evil but at least they can get away with their malicious deeds with an image of authority! A while back there was a picture of an NSA guard on duty who was fit, wore a black cap, sunglasses, and scarf over the lower half of his face which did make him look like a superkiller ninja! It made me feel like he must be thinking "Yes, we are going to listen to all of your communications and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it or I will infiltrate your house in the darkeness of night with my super stealth, tie you up and drop you from a plane in Siberia!!!" Also, one would think that should the news agencies even THINK about printing such an unflattering picture of their agencies such as the one above, the NSA would put the photographer in some secret prison in Eastern Europe approximately 2 seconds after the picture was snapped, and the CIA would hit their buildings with their deadly drones.

But don't worry FBI. Perhaps this event where you are actually taking action against the "real" bad people will overshadow the fact that your agents look like Homer Simpson on a treadmill. In my mind you are still an upstanding agency and an excellent American tradition.

But just in case my house is ever raided by the authorities, I sincerely hope it's by the FBI because all I have to do is simply run for half a block until I've made my escape.

Ok, that was mean. I still really do like the FBI and trust you guys and should you be hiring guys that weigh less than 200lbs please look me up.

Your friend and physically fit countryman,

Matthew