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December 17, 2006
Randomness
Just a few thoughts I've had while going through my Sunday morning routine.
1. I was at Starbucks and noticed two girls in heavy makeup and those big sunglasses that cover half of the face. First, wearing too much makeup conceals the actual facial aspects of the person. Wash all that junk off and it might actually be a dude type of heavy make up. Secondly, those glasses conceal half the face! Wouldn't it save time and money if they just wore a full Muslim veil? In either case we don't know what the person actually looks like.
2. Italy, Spain fight anorexia in fashion models by signing new regulations.
- I have never understood why being ultra thin is considered beautiful. For me, a full shapely body is beautiful and defines a woman. I did hear an interesting reason though recently as to why fashion models are so thin. The reason given is that most fashion designers are gay and prefer thin models because they are actually trying to capture the look of a teenage boy. Makes sense to me.
3. In the San Francisco Chronicle today the front page had an article about a new doll taking market share away from Barbie called "Bratz." It's basically a very slutty looking doll and sociologists are concerned about the message this sends to our young girls.
In our society which is based on Christian virtues, sex is considered bad, dirty and taboo. Yet, the marketers are creating dolls which look like prostitutes for the young to play with? Could the obsession with sex be because it is something that we are not supposed to be doing but gains an audience in movies, music and now dolls because it is taboo in society? In my opinion, many adults have a kind of sick complex about the whole thing because it has been repressed for so long.
If we look at Europe, nude beaches are not uncommon. In Africa, females going topless is nothing special. But in America we get all excited about such things precisely because it is something we have repressed, made to seem dirty and so on. I'm very much in favor of the whole womens liberation movement and that the body is beautiful, but perhaps we as a society are too immature to face this reality and it continues to be oppressed by the Religious Right which believes the body is a bad dirty thing. What a complex to have to be ashamed of one's own body! It is as though they are self hating!
In S.E. Asia they are much more open about this sort of thing and thus do not have these complexes and sickness in society. In Japan, bathing is part of the culture and one must enter the hot spring "onsen" (natural volcanic water) naked. Yet, it would seem the westerners are very uncomfortable with this sort of thing. Sometimes I have to explain the onsen rules to travel agents here and when I say that a bathing suit, or any cloth what-so-ever is not allowed in the onsen they are completely shocked.
We have such a sick distortion of our own body in this country that it has created undesirable consequences such as slutty dolls which I believe would lose it's appeal if we were much more open about our bodies and sexuality. However, religion has caused us to be so self hating that we seem mired in this complex with no way out.
These are the kind of things that run through ones mind when returning back home and thus could be categorized as reverse culture shock I suppose.
Posted by Mateo at 1:15 PM | Comments (0)
December 16, 2006
Culture shock in San Francisco
I had thought that the culture shock had subsided but I continue to be shocked, amazed, confounded by my surroundings here.
Before I describe these instances, I'd like to back up and explain a bit about why they "shock" a person returning from abroad. Living in another country, one is continually exposed to different behaviors and situations that they wouldn't necessarily find in their home country. The instances that really stick out are the ones that frustrate and cause a person to think "This wouldn't happen in my country." Over time you develop an ideal image of your home country but upon returning, realize that this ideal is just plain fantasy.
This ideal is further shattered as I'm not returning to my home state but this strange land called California where I truly am a minority, surrounded by Asians, but by Asians who are American in every aspect (and often not in a good way.)
So without further delay, on to the examples.
1. Supermarket in Japan Town
The other day I was waiting in line to purchase my Japanese rice and soy sauce that can only be found in Japan town. Everyone working the cash register was Asian, but the majority did not speak Japanese. I realized this when a young Japanese male who had very limited English ability tried to use a bank card that was apparently not a debit or credit card. His card wouldn't go through and a young Japanese/American male quite rudely told the customer his card didn't work. The customer replied "What does that mean?" The cashier laughed at him and said in a mockingly American way "It means your card doesn't work dude." (All in English of course.)
I felt very bad for the customer as this would never happen in Japan and was in such contrast to the Japanese society to which I'm accustomed. As he continued to make the young Japanese customer uncomfortable and embarrassed I thought of speaking to the clerk in Japanese. His response would have been "I don't speak Japanese" to which a good reply in English would have been, "Well you obviously don't speak English either or you would know how to use "a" "the" and put a damn "s" on the end of your pluralsssssssssss.
Fortunately, another cashier opened up and I missed my chance to thrash him.
2. Sign in front of the mall
I went to a very large bay area mall the other day and was expected to be greeted by holiday festivities, Santas' and a general feeling of cheer. I was extremely surprised however to see a large flashing sign which read "shoplift and go to JAIL!"
3. Dragon Ladies are everywhere!
In a previous post I wrote about a "dragon lady" (mean spirited rich Asian women) I encountered in Saigon. I have come to learn that they are here too and just as bad, if not worse. The dragon ladies here are about 40-50 years old, and probably have never worked a day in their lives. All they know how to do is shop, get pampered and are completely horrible people. Today, I saw one coming out of the shopping mall in her black Mercedes and when a car decided they would only let one other car out of the mall and not her she started bitching up a storm in her car.
Message to all guys. Never ever date an Asian woman who drives an expensive car but does not earn her own money. Life would quickly become a living hell. This is also true for women of other races but from experience, the Asian women from poor countries who marry rich men quickly become living, breathing demons of the apocalypse.
4. Driving in California
The speed limit says 60 miles an hour, but 8 cars in 10 do not follow this rule. The worst offenders here are the new rich in expensive cars (bald white guys). They do not like to wait their turn either and always look angry and though they are entitled to be first. The only thing worse than new rich here in California are Dragon Ladies.
Driving in the city, one must also be careful of the homeless and drug addicted who like to jump in the middle of the street. These guys are mostly in a daze and you can scare the bejesus out of them with a good horn blast. However, this doesn't work so well for the "gangstas" who apparently think it's cool to try to cross the street in heavy oncoming traffic without waiting for the light. Better not honk at these ghetto superstars as they will probably shoot at your car if you do.
5. At the mall
At the same mall that had a sign exclaiming "shoplift and go to JAIL!" I quickly realized I was indeed the minority. About 90% of the shoppers were Asian and spoke Asian languages. This made me feel quite at home, like I was back in my beloved Saigon.
6. Big city people
I was going to write a post about the coldness of people back here in America but realized that people in my home state of Ohio are not like this and quite friendly. I began to think about how people behave on my walk to work and began comparing the people in Saigon, Tokyo, San Francisco and Ohio. Here in San Francisco, people will rarely look you in the eye and a smile is as rare as an albino elephant turd. The only time people do smile here is when they are trying to sell you something and even that can be rare. However, in Ohio, people are generally friendly and their smiles sincere. The Vietnamese in Saigon however will look you in they eye for long periods and will return your smile 95% of the time.
In San Francisco however, if you smile at someone, they will quickly look away. The feeling I suppose is that of distrust and as though you are going to solicit them for something which is sad when you think about it. Only the older folks often return a smile. The young are too self centered and immersed in themselves to be bothered with a smile. However, there are still some old hipsters around who maintain the spirit of San Francisco long gone who will smile and flash a peace sign.
Posted by Mateo at 7:39 PM | Comments (0)
December 12, 2006
Institutionalized
The second definition of "institutionalized" in the dictionary is, "Given the character of an institution or incorporated into a structured and usually well-established system." The first definition as an adjective states "Officially placed in or committed to a specialized institution."
Institution - "An organization founded and united for a specific purpose."
Therefore could it not be said that our daily lives are immersed and utterly intertwined with various institutions which are officially sanctioned by the overriding institution which is the government of the land in which we live?
Thus are we not all to some degree institutionalized?
If we describe someone as "institutionalized," in the common usage or parlance, it usually refers to an inmate or mental hospital patient who has become so accustomed to the environment that they will suffer acute mental distress should they be removed from their environment.
It is not absurd to say most people of any nation would feel distressed should they be forced from their home country and made to live somewhere else. I assume a very small percentage would be able to adapt, while others would seek out areas which replicate their former land to the highest degree.
Our daily lives are basically comprised of interacting with some sort of "institution" or another whether it be a job, a church, a society, etc. If any of these were to be suddenly removed from our lives, it is not a stretch to say that many might feel more than a modicum of stress. Is it not possible that we as humans prefer order in our lives than the chaos which would prevail without institutions to tell us what do do, how to behave and what to believe?
Institutions in my opinion are restrictive in that they limit our room for movement, in the sense they instruct us to act and think within limited parameters. As we have no basis for comparison we accept these parameters without hesitation.
The picture I am painting is that of "reverse culture shock," after an extended period of stay abroad. When one lives in a foreign country, familiar institutions are often gone and we learn that another group has constructed their own institutions albeit with foreign influence, but that things are not necessarily done as they were back in our native lands. We learn to compare and contrast and that which was quickly accepted before are now questioned.
As we grow and develop from childhood we learn how institutions work and do not question "why" since it is the way it has always been. Even if we become educated, it is very difficult to break from that to which we are accustomed. However, I have come to believe that it is those who question "why," as the two year old child does, understands the world better than most.
To grab this post out of the heights of theory and philosophy, I simply must provide a few examples in our daily lives from simple to the complex.
1. Banks - When we are in our teens, we feel as though we are reaching adulthood because we start to understand how a checking and savings account work. If there are fees associated with keeping your own money in an account we automatically accept it because we have known no other way. Should the bank decide to raise the fee we might make a protest because we now have a basis for comparison.
But how many of us have questioned the need for banks at all? No living human has been around before there were banks. Most of us have never even considered keeping our money at home under the mattress since it is not the way we were taught.
However, for those that have lived in a poor, unstable country we find that much of the population does in fact keep their money under the mattress. As our peers in the foreign land are doing it we might even consider doing it even though it seems absurd from the perspective of our native mentality.
How many people even know how banks came into existence in the first place? Perhaps it was safer than keeping it home under the mattress. Perhaps it was the convenience of being able to write a check or a note which would be safe carried even long distances and exchanged for money when the destination is reached. In modern times, perhaps it is just convenience. I myself feel that my apartment is pretty secure and I could even buy a safe which eliminates the need for a feeling of safety. However, it would be a pain to physically take my money to pay all my bills when it can be done over the internet. But it is possible to do so. Yet, how many people have considered this as a way to pay your bills? I'm guessing very few as most are "institutionalized" enough by the institutions called banks. Could it be that institutions limit our ability to think freely without being instructed or persuaded by societal norms?
Coming back to the USA I have become very shrewed and questioning of all these fees I am being charged for a bank to hold my money. I get strange looks when I ask if the teller can waive my monthly checking access fee since it is quite possible no one has ever asked her that question before.
A feeling of control comes from challenging the status-quo. However, this confidence to ask these questions is rare and usually only comes from those who have traveled, or inherently astute.
2. Work - The corporate (or not) culture is something discussed only in business schools to my knowledge. Professors try to teach us to question or in the cliche (think outside of the box) , but this does not come naturally and how much of the population actually does it? Shame of asking something stupid might be a reason or perhaps is it we want to appear as though we already understand everything.
For me, there is no greater sense of control in life than being able to unabashedly ask "why" until I understand the explanation. It is either the explanation is not good or my counterpart is trying to fool me. What gives me this confidence is that I have a basis for comparison due to my experience abroad. I am no longer afraid of ridicule from my peers (or a feeling of inadequacy) because due to my experiences can offer an example of why the thing in question just might not be true.
3. Authority - It would seem that only during our teenage years do we often question authority. However, I feel this is only a need to be disobedient for a short while but most come back into the fold. Is it not true that most people follow the law because it's the law without questioning the reason for the law itself? Common sense dictates for example that murder is against the law for obvious reasons. But now we have various freedoms being taken away due to a terrible atrocity which happened to our country. Many accept it because the President and Congress made it a law. Others accept it (or not) because their peers do. But how many think of the ramifications "down the road" and sacrificing one benefit for another. How many consider that such atrocities wouldn't have even occurred and put us in the situation if foreign policy had been different?
Most just understand the situation as it is, in the present, and not the events or policies which led up to the current situation, or the results of trying to quickly rectify the current situation.
The most interesting people I have met and the most stimulating discussions I have ever experienced have been with people who have escaped their native institutions which begat (past of beget?) their former mentalities. They are the ones who are not afraid to question "why" even when popular opinion is contrary.
Posted by Mateo at 9:10 PM | Comments (0)