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April 20, 2006
A "Wapanese?"
Recently, I've been reading blogs, journals and so on to get myself mentally prepared for my return to America. In particular I've been reading about race relations between Asians and Americans just so I can have an understanding about how San Francisco might be for my girlfriend who is Japanese.
I've found a lot of useful information, but during my research, I've found a lot of bizarre and twisted cultural phenomena going on in the states these days. Apparently, America being the wonderful diverse place it is, also has an ugly side which has given rise to new terms used to describe these ethnicities mixing together. The most common which I learned in High School was the term "wigger" which was a white person acting as though they were black. We didn't have very many Asians at my school which must be the reason why I have never heard of the following terms until now.
1. Twinky - An Asian who is yellow on the outside but white on the inside.
2. A "Wapanese" - which is apparently a white person who takes "too much of an interest" in Japan but "usually through a Western filter."
There are a few others which I've forgotten. I found these terms used in people's blogs, which then lead me to Wikipedia and then to articles discussing this topic. These articles go into depth, analyze, over-analyze, criticise, leaving the author and reader in a conundrum. Here in Asia, if a white person can speak the native language or take an interest in the culture, it is seen as a positive thing. But from the articles I've been reading it appears a certain segment of America (usually the overeducated with too much time on their hands) have twisted it into something negative and derogatory. The article (here) which really got me to write this post was written in the Harvard Business newspaper and reminds me of the nonsense from the liberal schools at my old university. For example, everyone is supposed to be "aware" or "sensitive" to everyone elses culture, but apparently now, if you take too much of an interest, you are called these new derogatory terms.
It's a Catch-22! Study the other cultures and learn about them, but not too much!
I've pasted the article on the extended entry and commented upon it afterwards...
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Article from the Harvard Business Journal
Have you heard of terms like Yellow Fever or Rice King? These terms are referring to people who have an "Asian fetish," (i.e. a strong preference in dating Asian people over other races). It might be due to the fact that I am an Asian myself, but when it comes to ethnic preferences, I have found that the term "Asian fetish" is the most distinct and often the most talked about compared to "White fetish" or "Black fetish" or whatever.
What is Asian fetish exactly? What is it about Asian fetish that keeps people talking?
As an Asian person, I can immediately sense when someone has an Asian fetish. You spot someone staring at you from afar and next moment coming to talk to you at a crowded party. You see a guy walking down the street, hand-in-hand with another Asian girl, and he still checks you out as you walk by him. Undergraduate majors of any East Asian language or East Asian Studies or post-college work as an English teacher in an Asian country are easy give-aways. Back in the day (circa late 90's), these Asian Studies types were the only people with Asian fetish, but now, they seem to be everywhere, and their Asian fetish is not restricted to any one particular Asian connection!
One classmate, a self-acclaimed Rice King, confessed to me that his life and perspective was forever changed after he dated an attractive Korean-American girl for a couple of years. Apparently, it was the contrast between her petite figure and strong libido that turned him on.
Another classmate, a European, commented that he finds Asian women very sexy and feminine. So perhaps it's the exotic look. Perhaps it's the femininity. But I can't help but think that some of it is men's chauvinistic fantasy about petite, reserved submissive women.
Is this about American men, tired of Anglo-Saxon feminists, seeking more traditional Asian women who would be dependent on them and make them feel good about themselves? Others would argue that the fetish has developed due to the increased exposure of beautiful Asian celebrities (e.g. Lucy Liu from Charlie's Angels).
Regardless of the rationale behind it, as an Asian woman myself, I have a mixed feeling about this phenomenon. While I'm glad that Asian women are getting the attention that they deserve, I feel uncomfortable about men who are attracted to a woman just because she is Asian.
On the other hand, I also feel that Asian fetish has positive societal effects - as more people engage in interracial relationships, perhaps the color of your partner won't matter so much. So if you consider Asian fetish simply an evolutionary stage in interracial dating, we should probably celebrate the fact that people are becoming more open-minded.
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Now, conceded there are these types of "asian fetish" people around, this article to me is simply your typical "Hey, an issue is focusing on something I happen to be, which makes my opinions important so you better listen to them." What really irks me, is the typical belief that Asian women are "submissive" and any man who likes them is a chauvanistic pig. Apparently, Miss Asian girl here has never been to Asia and/or is a disgrunteled Asian American who does not understand Asian culture but since she comes from Asian heritage believes she can comment for the billions of people living in Asia. Her last name is Japanese but she has no concept of what really goes on in Japanese society.
Like most westerners, she does not understand that Asian girls ceased to be submissive a long time ago. It is in fact the wife who controls the purse strings, and even if she does not make her own money, it is her who takes the paychecks from her husband and then gives him his allowance. Vietnamese and Chinese girls may seem submissive on the surface but make no mistake about it, they will cut off your testicles should you disrespect them in any way. Let us not confuse, kind and caring with "submissive" here.
It is true some of the older generation the men still have the say, but the younger generation no longer buys that. In Japanese mentality, there is rarely a public dispute between a man and a woman but subtle cues which let both sides understand where the other is coming from. Just because it is not the confrontational western style and the me, me, me mentality which pervades many relationships, does not mean either side is giving in to the other (or the woman giving in to the man as westerners think).
A typical disagreement about something as trivial as where to eat with many of my former girlfriends went something like this.
Me: How about Italian?
Gf: No, I don't feel like Italian.
Me: Hamburgers?
Gf: Yea, that sounds good.
There is nothing wrong with this, and it is the western mentality. But just because the conversation goes like this in Japanese does not mean the woman is giving in.
Me: How about Italian?
Gf: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(Translation, she doesn't want Italian, so understanding this I respond....)
Me: Hamburgers?
Gf: Sounds good!
And it works the other way around as well!! It's simply leaving the door open should the other side really want Italian instead of the direct "No!" It's called "being considerate!"
More on the "chauvanistic fantasy." The first Asian girl I dated was a Korean who I met while studying in France. I had never even paid attention to Asian girls before until one specific act.
I was waiting for her to come from Lyon at the train station, and this little Asian girl gets off carrying a friggin TV! I asked, "What in the heck are you doing with a TV????" She said "You not have TV, so I bring you one." I realized that for her to bring me the t.v. she had to physically carry it from the dorm to the subway, through the maze that is Lyon's metro and then down the long platform into the train. Now none of my other girlfriends had ever, ever, ever done something as sweet as that for me. Perhaps I was dating the wrong girls! In fact the only one I know of that would do something like that for me would have been my mom, so I'm not trashing American girls here, just a comparison from my own personal experience. I also know a lot of sweethearts in America but none ever did something this nice for me before.
Therefore, it's not an Asian quality, or Western quality. It's simply guys like to be treated nicely. My experience in America tells me that it's a one sided affair when the culture tells us that guys must continually buy crap for the girl and get nothing in return.
I also take issue with this statement; "I feel uncomfortable about men who are attracted to a woman just because she is Asian." Where does she get the temerity to say something like this? Some people like pizza, others like tacos, some like to play sports, others prefer chess! Can we not extend this to relationships as well, or am I being a "chauvanistic pig?"
In the words of "El Guapo" from the three amigos, I too "Like all womens," especially if they are kind to me and hands down, Asian girls happen to be quite kind. (not saying that other girls are not or anything like that, but from my own personal experience, it's like 50 to 1.
So to the author of this article I would like to say this. You my dear are Asian only by name and appearance. You appear just as disgruntled as anyone who has taken one too many feminist classes. If a chess player liked you for your chess ability, you would probably take offense at that too! You speak like the actors who get mad at the fans who scream and shout when they walk buy because they think "we have no privacy" when their entire career and fortunes are made in the public domain and by the fans!
In conclusion, I'd like to say that you in the Liberal Arts schools have way too much time on your hands and there has to be a point when you stop over-analyzing. Some people like blonds, some like burnettes,,, by your statements, perhaps you would only be satisfied if while wearing a full body burqa (Muslim full body cover) and someone took an interest in you because of your melodious voice. Perhaps you should date a blind man?
And by the way, what the hell is an article like this doing in the Business newspaper?? Get back to crunching numbers.
Posted by Mateo at 11:11 PM | Comments (2)
April 19, 2006
Voyeurism on CNN
I've had rants about CNN before and thought that another would not be necessary but I just couldn't hold back posting about this.
First, I have said that I hate CNN, which I do, but unfortunately they put out the big stories first and it appears that no one has the reach CNN does internationally. So I like this page to appear first so I can keep a pulse on the state of affairs in the world. Most of CNN's stories are biased crap, but I can choose not to click on those.
The first part of my rant has to do with the rise of voyeurism on CNN. If you don't know what voyeurism is, it means getting sexual gratification from watching others sexual behavior,,but I would like to use it in the sense that watching a video of someone titillated, generally excited or causing an intense emotion. Recently CNN has posted videos with these captions:
1. "Watch the boys tears as he describes how his mother died."
2. "Watch a Las Vegas security guard get beat up."
How sick is this sh*t? Reading about these stories is bad enough, but has the public become so disturbed that CNN will post videos because people actually enjoy WATCHING the misfortune of others! The point of media nowdays is not to actually supply real news, but to sell newspapers and content that people will buy. When will this stop? Will it come to videos that depict rape, genocide for the entertainment of others? How about war? Now it's not only the defense contractors that cash in on war, but also the media like Paula Zahn who run through battlefields in their designer outfits animatedly looking from side to side as though someone is about to shoot her? Now if she got blown up by an IED that would be good entertainment. Imagine a CNN commercial with images of Paula running here and there with the announcer saying,,
"Paula Zahn!!!!! Bringing the tragedy of war directly to your living room for YOUR viewing pleasure.. SHE investigates the story, for.........OH.... Damn, Paula just got blown to hell.... Um... well.... (Long pause)...YOU can only see the VIDEO of Paula stepping on an IED HERE, an EXCLUSIVE of CNN Video.
And what is with the marketing of these losers shows on CNN,, How did they come up with the captions such as:
1. "Paula Zahn NOW" or "Lou Dobbs Tonight" - I guess "Paula Zahn when she gets around to it" or "Lou Dobbs" at about 8:30 or mabye 9:14 or so" wasn't catchy enough.
2. "Anderson Cooper 360 degrees blog" - Aren't they aware that some people going 360 degrees are going to throw up? How about "Anderson Cooper, dizzy as F**k."
3. "Situation Room" - And what the hell is the "situation?",,, Tom Cruise caught punching the clown at the Golden Globes!,,, Your Reaction tonight on CNN. Followed by a CNN poll with one of CNN's lowball questions "Would you let your child punch their clown at the Grammys'?
4. "American Morning" - In a typical American morning we drink coffee, eat pancakes and scratch our ass... really not that exciting.....
5. "Nancy Grace" - Who the hell is this person? Why do we care??
Posted by Mateo at 6:29 PM | Comments (1)
America, Angry and in Despair
Another article I read in the IHT was about the Iranian minister's comment that Americans are angry and in despair about current events. It's true things are not going well from Irak and Iran to North Korea and so on. It's also true that these are rough times. But if we look back has there ever been a time when America is not in peril? The only time I can think of when America was at it's greatest was after WWII. The politicians have us convinced time and time again that everything will be dandy after just one more war and after it is done, then there is just one more to go, yet things never turn peachy for long.
The world is also losing it's favorable opinion of America but in my opinion it's still not as bad as it seems. Most countries do not like the current administration's actions, but realize that America as a whole is still a land of opportunity and full of good people. Some Americans are afraid of traveling abroad but should you wish to travel, I would highly encourage you to do so. Other countries still welcome Americans and welcome you on an individual level. I just wouldn't advise that you wear a "Go Bush!" sticker. I have even met many people who have visited Iran and say the people there are very kind and welcoming. Every government everywhere pisses people off (especially their own) quite often, but on an individual basis, people are still welcoming and curious about you and your culture.
I often get questions from Americans about the Vietnamese and how they feel towards Americans. I can tell you that Vietnamese are masters of the forgive and forget mentality and just want to get on with it. There is no hostility here at all and most are concerned with doing business than the "revolutionary movement." In fact the government it quite concerned about this for their young people. Even though many Vietnamese still suffer from Agent Orange and other debilitating effects from the war, they just want to get along with their lives and improve their situation,, not continually blame others for their misfortune which is highly commendable.
So I guess the message is this; Traveling abroad is the best way in the world to get an education. It is unfortunate that America has become polarized into two camps and world events have been catagorized into the simplistic "good vs. evil" ideology. Living abroad teaches you to understand both sides of any disagreement and usually come up with a conclusion in the gray area.
Most Americans are excellent people and have fought for what they thought was right. But so were the communist fighters of Vietnam, and so are Israelis' and also Palestinians. It is horrible that both Israel and Palestinians commit horrendous acts against each other, but it seems inevitable if you can understand the immense hate from having their families blown up by the other side. I sincerely believe that most of the world's problems comes from a profound lack of understanding the other side. If a class were offered on understanding instead of the ideology of one side or the other I think the world would be a much better place.
Unfortunately there is not a class offered in this and thus we have our current "we are righteous" and God loves us side vs. the other "we are righteous" and God loves us side. For an omnipotent being to see his creation in humans continually squabble amongs themselves, tribes against tribes, former tribes turned nations vs. other nations, it must be extremely disheartening and we as humans must be seen as failures.
Those that cannot see this must still cling to the belief that if we just blow up a few more people then the world will be dandy.
From my travels, I have learned that most people are good, until corrupted by hate from whatever terrible acts have been put against them. Humans are a good creation and I hate how people are vilified by governments who caracterize the other side as "sadistic, souless creatures," or by the Church who teaches us we are born bad and must continually ask for forgiveness from only their institution.
It does appear that there are checks and balances throughout history with religion counterbalancing governments. Governments often go bad and oppress people. Religion tries to limit senseless violence and at it's best times preaches love and acceptance. Unfortunately religion in both the Christians and Muslims seem to be preaching a lot of hate lately and are in arms with governments. This alliance turns out very bad for the people who simply want to raise a family and be happy. One cannot be happy with blowing up the other side if they are human.
Even though America is going through a rough patch, I would tell Americans to not despair or be too angry. America is still the only country I can think of that most people of the world would really like to visit and most Americans are very welcoming. American has been in tough spots before, but on the whole, things usually get better after the storm.
Posted by Mateo at 3:01 PM | Comments (0)
America! Wake up!!!
I hate reading the news. Everytime I do, things get worse and worse and I end up feeling depressed. I seriously think the news is bad for your health.
Today, reading the International Herald Tribune, my blood pressure went off the charts and I almost had a stroke. But before I get to what the actual story was, let me begin with a prelude.
Living abroad, lets you see America from the outside. We no longer gain our information from simply living in America but from the news. One thing that really sticks out is the amount of random violence in the states. By random, I mean violence with no purpose or reasoning what-so-ever. Road rage, gang members, so and so killed by stray bullet, or for no motive what so ever. In other countries there is horrible violence but there is usually a reason no matter how stupid. This tribe hates that tribe, politics, and so on.
Now, to my point. The article I read today was about this idiot Fred Phelps and his ilk protesting funerals of America's dead soldiers. No matter how you feel about gays, the war, politics, this should really piss you off!
If we have people beating up others for simply cutting others off on the road, and postal workers going....well "postal" and shooting their co-workers,,,, why in the hell has no one beaten the living crap out of these 75 inbreds from the Phelps family????? Wake Up America!!!! With so many violent citizens living there why have none of them taken the lead and thrown these people off a cliff??? In fact, I can think of no better reason to use violence than this!! There is so much violence for little reason,,, but when there is finally a big reason all you violent people go on holiday!! I don't think there has been even one incident of attempted violence against these people!
I applaud the Patriot motorcycle gang for protecting the grieving families. But is it too much to ask that one of you drive your motorcycle directly into these people, back up and run over them again? Hell, just a few weeks ago one motorcycle gang completely erased an entire motorcycle gang in Canada.
Their placards also really get to me such as "God hates your tears." These are the kind of people that think the omnipotent being also takes time out of his day to appear in their burrito and other such nonsense.
Well, I need to stop writing on this subject due to health reasons. I'm off to think about ocean waves, meditation and other relaxing indulgences.
Posted by Mateo at 2:38 PM | Comments (0)
April 13, 2006
Thoughts of the Day
America in the House!!! Last week one of the biggest socialites in HCMC
had his going away party and the theme was to dress like someone from
your country. Therefore, I decided to dress as someone from a "Red
State" and although my state of Ohio turned out red this time, I think
that was simply an irregularity as most people from Ohio are most
excellent. Perhaps my costume could have been construed as someone from
Michigan or perhaps Indiana.
I also ran into a few of my friends from the State Department who also
happen to be on my darts team and when I explained the costume they just
shook their heads in disappointment.. :)
But speaking of the red states, I was contemplating on how it could be
that Bush got elected for another term. I think one of the main reasons
is that Bush just connected better with the people than Kerry. He was
able to get them wound up just like an owner would get his dog excited
over fetching a ball. "Come on Boy! Get the weapons of mass
destruction, come on, come on, Lets Go! Let's go attack an Arab country
that is very little threat to us!!! Yea Yea!! " This is what people
in the blue states would call a "demagogue." Now please don't confuse
this with demi-god, you people in the red states, it's not the same
thing.
But on a serious note, my buddy who just returned from the states says
that the lack of honest debate in the USA is quite scary. Everyone who
has lived abroad for any amount of time understands that leaders can
whip the people up using demagoguery while vilifying those of a
different opinion. The one thing that Bush is very good at is getting
things done, and not getting bogged down in that horrible thing called
debate and consensus. The democrats should also be castigated for not
being able to get their act together and actually do something.
Now don't get me wrong, I still think America is one of the best
countries in the world, but has simply hit a rough patch. It is fun
from time to time when people get too negative about America to ask them
where all good things come from.... TVs', computers, cars, robots to
Mars, the internet... where did all these things come from??? If it was
up to other countries, we would still be riding donkeys and whatnot..
haha...
But why oh why, is America so polarized when we have such excellent
universities and an educated population? Anyone who has taken a debate
class knows that there are positive and negative aspects to both sides
of a conflict. I think most of the world's problems stem from a failure
to understand the other side. If you take the war in Vietnam for
example, the communist fighters really did believe in what they were
fighting for and if we look at their situation, they had been oppressed
by the Chinese for thousands of years, and then by the French. But if
we look at the other side in terms of the French, the French people
thought they were bringing good things to Vietnam and "modernizing them"
but it all came at a price. The Americans thought that Communism must
be stopped because it was "oppressive" when the other side thought that
Communism would be "liberating." The truth is, the more one studies and
understands the other side, the harder it is to define one side as good
and right. If one reads Ho Chi Minh's writing and read their
constitution it speaks of liberty and freedom. The western powers
wanted to keep Vietnam divided while Ho Chi Minh was trying to unify his
country to make it strong. Many people will be angry at this opinion as
I am just a foreigner in this country and they will say it's none of my
business. But this brings up another issue which I will address shortly
as I don't want to get off my main point.
We have made so much progress in the USA that it's disheartening to see
the current administration define conflicts in terms of "Good and Evil."
Although they did get it right in calling North Korea Evil which the
current leadership truly is. As you can tell by my writing, it's very
easy to go back and forth on every issue and this is what learning and
experience does to you. But this will always be attacked from the
extremists on both sides as fence sitting as though it that is a
negative thing.
Now back to me being a "foreigner" in this country. I think in this age
of air travel, the enthusiasm to learn other languages and understand
other cultures people are integrating with each other much faster than
before. Just take the massive protests in the USA at the moment. These
people are just seeking the "American" dream like the Italians, Poles,
Chinese and Irish before them. The borders of countries change and new
lines are drawn such as when the USA took half of Mexico in the 1800's.
But people migrate and seek out better circumstances. The detractors to
immigration point to the fact that they are "illegals" which they are.
The laws are there for a reason which may be the stability of jobs for
those who are already "Americans." But laws will not stop people from
seeking out a better life such as Americans did when the forefathers
broke the laws of their King, and the black civil rights leaders broke
the unjust laws of the white rulers. So again it is quite easy to see
both sides of the issue. The Statue of Liberty stand for freedom and is
one of America's greatest monuments. Other people too wish to come to
America and good for them. So while the laws are in place for a reason,
we must also understand why people want to come to America and be proud
of that. I think the government is doing a good job of understanding
both sides and trying to navigate this issue delicately.
Now let me digress to people calling me a foreigner in other countries.
Sometimes it irks me when people call me a "foreigner" while I'm in
their land. Anyone can come to the USA and become fully American. But
we cannot do this yet in the Asian countries and are always treated as
outsiders. One lovely older lady kept saying during her speech at some
business event that we must remember Vietnam is not our country and we
are "guests" here. For those "foreigners" who have lived here a long
time, will it ever be possible that our cultures integrate so much that
people from other nations will be accepted as the locals are? Many of
them speak Vietnamese, Japanese, Chinese quite well. It may sound
ridiculous now, but cultures can come together quite well in America,,,
so will it ever be the same in other countries? Just a thought..
Posted by Mateo at 1:58 PM | Comments (0)
April 7, 2006
Fun in Saigon
I couldn't think of a better title for this post. But a couple of funny instances recently that made me laugh and I thought I should write about. It's moments like these that make me really love the Vietnamese people.
1. I was speaking with one of our staff members about how the salutation to put on a letter we were going to send to about 200 executives in Saigon. We wanted to make it a personal letter but not spend the mass amount of time writing each persons name on every e-mail.
Me - "How about,,,,, 'Dear Members, or Dear Esteemed Guests'."
She thought about it for a minute or two and said,
"Deeeaaaarrrr...................Monkeys."
It kept the office laughing for about 10 minutes.
2. I was working on my laptop in the formal dining area. One of the new young female staff member came over and delicately poured me a glass of water after which she said,
"Please enjoy your water."
It was really cute and made me smile. As every language learner knows, you learn specific phrases to say in certain situations and therefore anywhere you go, the Vietnamese will always tell you to Enjoy your something or other. Apparently she was not taught that you don't have to say that when it comes to water.
3. We spent a day doing a lot calling to invite about 200 prospects to one of the clubs events. That means we spoke to a lot of secretaries who had limited English ability.
Most of the recordings would tell you to push the extention number of the person you were trying to reach or press either 1 or 0.
One recording told me to please press the number 10.........
It's understandable that these things happen in English because it's not their native language. But some funny instances also happen in Vietnamese. My Vietnamese co-worker was asked by a secretary this,
"Do you have a reservation for your telephone call?"
I could see the confused look on his face and when he told the other staff members everyone just burst out laughing.
Posted by Mateo at 2:04 PM | Comments (2)