Lies, all lies

They say that living in the modern day city is a factor which contributes to mental illness.  I moved from San Francisco six years ago but I believe we are still close enough to this ground zero that we can still feel the mental illness inducing effects.  Perhaps this is why I’m starting to be bothered by the amount of lies I’m told each day instead of just ignoring them.

I am not a writer

The question popped into my head the other day, if I considered myself a writer or not.  I certainly like to write in my blog here but would I be considered a writer if someone other than myself were to ask me that question?

No, I am not a writer.

A writer is one who:

can use perfect punctuation all the time
gets straight As in English class and is/was praised by the teacher
has books published that people pay money to read
belongs to social circles where they talk about literary trends I cannot comprehend
is allowed to stay at the Athenaeum club
proofreads, revises and corrects his work so it flows and is coherent
a writer is a way of describing someone who has these qualities
a writer is someone that I am not.

Journal Entry 4.28.2016

It is 5:46 AM on chilly Wednesday morning.  I’m still not back to normal due to a nasty cold: I’ve got a consistent headache, my thoughts are negative and I’m having a hard time getting motivated to do anything.  This cold has lasted almost two weeks but it looks like I’m on the mend which is good because I really need to get back to the gym.

A Melancholy Toast

Write this a while ago, forgot to put it in the blog.  Is a work in progress:
Part I (11/14/2014)
To the Asian bar girls who are no longer 24
To my beautiful girlfriends who never found a compatible man;
and who probably never will
To old relationships whose flame I can still feel
To the roads not taken, which I’ll never know
To youthful enthusiasm, killed in a cubicle
To great nights forgotten, by a whisky too many
To great friends who over time, turned out not so great to be
To old friends who married the wrong person
To those who want to forget their past and only live in the present; over and over again
To those who chose the safe husband, who settled
To those who love Jesus so much, they hate those who do not
To those whose career successes have made them forget old friendships
To those that know everything about God, because its the only story they’ve ever heard
Part II (4.27.2016)
To the single mothers, whose youthful beauty betrayed them
To the professional, whose work has become his life
To the 40 year old club girl who may become the world’s first 50 year old club girl; this Skyy vodka is for you
To the eternal student, who peaks through the ivy covered campus walls, never to set foot outside
To the selfie and the “like”; fueling insecurity since 2006
To seeing your old acquaintances with gray hair for the first time
To letting a friendship fade away rather than putting in the effort to renew it
To realizing you’re all alone, even when surrounded by many
To the passage of time; it doesn’t stop
To the sunsets, that so very few appreciate
To the accumulation of evermore money; may you acquire all the money someday; then what?
To writing down your thoughts; they are captured like a photograph and can be filed in a database
To death; thank you for reminding us to appreciate the beauty of life

Journal Entry – 4.26.2016

It is now 7:21 AM and I’ve been out of my schedule for a while now.  I caught a cold the beginning of last week and it is just now wrapping up.  This means I haven’t been able to go to the gym or have any of my quiet time in the early morning preferring instead, to sleep in.

Some big news however, Kai learned to ride a bike last Sunday!  He was a bit reluctant since the first outing without the training wheels didn’t go so well which was most likely my fault.  I was afraid to let go of the training stick I had attached to the bike for fear he would fall and never want to try again.  Then I was upset when I felt he didn’t give it enough effort.

Memories of Raymond and Wilson Road Golf Courses

It is 6:31 AM.  I just opened the door and for the first time in a while heard the Robin’s singing their morning songs and memories of my job at Raymond Memorial / Wilson Road Golf Courses – where I did maintenance – came flooding back to me.

Wilson Road Golf Course

This happens every time I heard them in the early morning.  I had to awake an the ungodly hour of 4:00 AM and before I had my driver’s license would walk in the dark to the maintenance barn on the golf course. I’ll always remember the robins because they were so loud at that time and I wondered how they could be so cheerful at such an hour.

Journal Entry – 4.2.2016

Today the wife went to get her hair done so it was just me and the boys.  We went to Karate class first and while the oldest was in the dojo I took the youngest in the stroller on a walk through the lovely neighborhood. After that we went to Santa Ramen and only had to wait about fifteen minutes to get seated.  They didn’t have a high chair but my youngest did just fine in the adult seat.

Memories of my Grandparent’s house


I only remember visiting my Grandparent’s house four or five times when I was a kid.  It was located in a dying coal mining known as Bellaire next to the Ohio river, right next to West Virginia.  Pulling up to the house the first thing I always noticed was how the sidewalk in front was new, unlike the cracked and crumbling sidewalks which surrounded it.  After climbing a few steps one found themselves in a screened in porch which led to the door of the house.

Journal Entry – 4.1.2016

This morning started off in a most unusual way.  I awoke at 4:00 AM as usual but realized I had an appointment at 11:30 AM that must have gotten buried under a bunch of other items.  I’m currently covering two other territories at work and didn’t see this one.  Therefore, I had to forgo the gym and prepare a presentation.  The only problem was that I couldn’t pull certain reporting since the account isn’t in my territory which gave me some anxiety.  I put together as much as I could for the presentation and then went back to sleep since I wouldn’t be able to have someone else pull the reports until 8:00 AM.