Matt Curtin

There are times in life when one really cannot make sense of what has just transpired. Times that seem life is playing a joke on you or that you've been "set up" by unseen cosmic forces. After the event ends you're in a a state of shock and confusion and swear that perhaps those have gone before you may have had a part to play.

One of these moments happened to me this morning of May 8th at around 8:30am. It was actually suggested by a real police officer, during a real traffic stop that I may have "the Greatest Criminal Mind Ever." Without further delay, the events unfolded as such.

I had only been in my car for five minutes and was driving through the unsightly Tenderloin neighborhood going to my first customer. I was following a rather wide shuttle bus that slowed and pulled over to the side of the road. I started to go around when I saw a police officer directly in front of me telling me to stop and pull over. The officer then proceeded to pull the next 10 drivers behind me over as well.

I thought that perhaps there had been an incident up ahead or perhaps some sort of protest. When another driver asked why we had been pulled over he told us that we had all failed to stop for the small school bus on the corner which had its stop sign out.

Now, in the Tenderloin I am extremely cautious because people will walk out in the street in front of you and one has to be careful. However, I have no recollection of any school bus but sure enough there did happen to be one behind me on the corner. Therefore, I'm thinking I'm dead in the water I'm definitely going to receive a ticket.

As the officer had stopped at least 15 cars, the traffic was quite backed up. After about ten minutes of waiting he comes to my window and asks for my drivers license. I pull out my wallet only to discover I do not seem to have my drivers license. I search pretty thoroughly only to confirm this fact. The officer only waits about 5 seconds, tells me to keep looking and goes on to the other vehicles.

At this point, I am a bit confused since in my three years of living here:
1. I have never been pulled over
2. I have had my drivers license every single day

Therefore, it seems to make no sense that on the one time I get pulled over my license just happens to not be in my wallet. Suspicious indeed............

Now, there are about 5 other policemen taking care of the situation yet in no rush what so ever. So I decide to get out of my car and wait. The original officer comes back and asks if I've found my license to which I reply, "I'm sorry sir but I don't seem to have my license." He tells me to find the license number and will come back. So I check my insurance information which I had recently renewed but did not happen to have the up-to-date insurance information with me and realize I had left it in my apartment.

Further, there is no drivers license number on the insurance or DMV registration.

By this point another officer came next to me but said nothing. The original officer comes back and the dialogue is as follows:

Officer: "Did you find your license yet?"
Me: "No sir. I think what may have happened is that when I renewed my insurance I might have left my license on my desk."
Officer: "Find your license number." "If you can't find it we will have to tow your car."
Me: "I understand sir." "I really do not know why my license just happens not to be in my wallet at this particular time sir. This is strange."
Officer: "Find your license number." "Can't you call your insurance company."
Me: "Well, it's Geico, and the customer service isn't very good." "I'll keep looking sir."

He proceeds to write me a ticket.

Officer: "What is your hair color"
Me: "Brown"
Officer: "Eyes?"
Me: "Blue"
Officer: "Weight?"
Me: "180lbs"
Officer "What is that a Scion?"
Me: "Yes sir."
Officer: "Who makes that?"
Me: "Toyota Sir"
Officer: "Did you find your license number yet?"
Me: "Yes sir, it's 4, 5, Henry, Charlie....."
Officer: "No, that is your license plate number I need your DRIVER'S LICENSE number."
Me: "Oh, sorry sir."
Officer: "Ok, I'll look it up on the computer." "You're not going to be one of those guys I have to tow are you?"
Me: "No sir." "Sorry to keep holding you up sir, I really do."
Officer: "We get paid by the hour, I've got time."

Officer goes to the patrol car for about five minutes and comes back.

Officer: "There are a couple of people under your name, what is your date of birth?"

I tell him my date of birth and he goes back to the patrol car. He comes back a few minutes later looking at me and shaking his head.

Officer: "I don't think you have a license!"
Me: "I do have a license sir."
Officer: "In California?"
Me: "Yes sir, it's California."
Officer: "How long have you lived here?"
Me: "About three years, I live right up the street, I have my Blockbuster card, my Costco card, but strangely, I just do not seem to have my drivers license."

At this point, I'm really laying the Midwestern charm on very thick and that I'm most likely the only one who is being polite and extremely cooperative about being pulled over. The other drivers are grumbling about having to be on time somewhere.

Officer: "You are not in our database!"
Me: "I don't know why that would be sir, my last name is spelled C, U, R, T, I, N"
Officer: "Like the things you hang on the window?"
Me: "Yes sir, without the a."
Officer: "Do you have any parking tickets?"
Me: "Yes sir."
Officer: "Well go get them"
Me: "Uh, I mean no sir, I got one last year but paid it. I don't have one with me."

The officer addresses the other.

Officer: "Call it in and see if they can find him."
Officer #2 "Yea, I need a D-L on a C, U, R, T, I, N"
Dispatcher: "No record"
Officer: "Do you have any identification?"

I hand my Bank card (with picture) and business card to officer number 2

Officer: "Where do you work?"
Me: "I work at (name of company)."
Officer: What is that?"
Me: "I sell industrial supplies to the skyscrapers downtown."

Officer to officer number 2
Officer: "You know, he really doesn't seem like the type that wouldn't have a license."
Officer #2: "Yea that or he's the greatest criminal mind ever."

They share a laugh and I as well although nervously. Officer then addresses me.

Officer: "Ok, get out of here, go find your license."
Me: "Sorry about that, thank you officer."
Officer: "Go!"

And so I went.

I came back to my apartment and looked all around but no drivers license was to be found. I still had to work so I went to out to visit customers. I entered the Transamerica building and stood behind someone checking in with security. The security officer asked to see his identification and the light went off. I bet I left it at the (insert name) Hotel!!! Sure enough, I had left it with security on a customer visit a few days ago.

It would seem the cosmic forces have gotten me (or saved me) on this occasion. I still cannot understand that even though I have had my license with me every single day the one day I get pulled over it is not there. Further, I DO NOT SHOW UP in the database!!!

Cosmic forces indeed........

My first thought of the day is the image I get when I hear the word "blog." To me, it conjures images of taking a dump on a page. Eat your fiber and blog all you want! Yes, I know it means Web Log but I would like to petition to change the name to something more appealing. My suggestion is "escrivette." Combine the Spanish word "Escribir" which means "to write" with a French suffix that usually means a smaller size of something.

10 Things I love about San Francisco

1. The scenery
- Mountains, Ocean and the bay. It's beautiful here.

2. The Diverse Neighborhoods
- Just a few blocks from any point and you will arrive in a different neighborhood. North Beach, Fisherman's Warf, Soma, The Haight. They all have such different characteristics and there is always something to do

3. History
- San Francisco is steeped in history. From the Spanish explorers up to the technology age San Francisco has history on every single block. One interesting fact is that East of Van Ness Avenue is relatively new buildings due to a large fire burning everything down. Yet West of Van Ness the old Victorian houses still remain.

4. Proximity to other unique areas
- Napa, Lake Tahoe, Silicon Valley, The Ocean, Santa Cruz. - You can go skiing in the morning and be surfing by noon. Best not to mix wine tasting between the two however.

5. Compact City
- One can walk from one side to the other but it is best to go around the hills. You do not need a car to live here.

6. Public Transportation
- This city has the best public transportation in all of the USA. The Muni, and Bart can get you anywhere in under an hour.

7. Entertainment
- The level of talent here is unsurpassed. Not everyone becomes a superstar but this does not mean they do not possess extraordinary talent. Those folks end up in up in superb attractions such as Beach Blanket Babylon, Teatro Zinzanni and an unlimited amount of small intimate theaters. Superstars they may not be but many are famous in their own right and end up on Broadway. (Broadway is not only in New York but the casts do travel here)

8. Restaurants
- World Class restaurants seem almost unlimited. My favorite are the small places with only about ten tables. Due to the economy reservations only really need to be made about three days in advance and using yelp.com really helps with thousands of reviews

9. Politics
- Sometimes the city goes a little far but I mostly appreciate the mentality of progress and testing the limits of society here. Conservatism to me is akin to not wanting to advance. If conservatives ruled the world we would still be stuck in the Dark Ages. Society will continually progress with periods of stagnation or even recede but San Francisco is always testing those limits. Without liberal thinking and trying new ideas we would not have Google, Apple, the Green movement or equal rights of every citizen. San Francisco always pushes the envelope.

10. Weather
- The mild climate is perfect and no air conditioning needed. Most San Franciscans wear pants year around and one can always spot the tourists in shorts, short sleeve shorts who may be comfortable around noon but in the evening are covered in goose bumps

10 Things I hate about San Francisco

1. Beggars
- Due to the liberal nature of the city there is one neighborhood "The Tenderloin" which it is better not to go. This has severely degraded most of Market St and although it is a minor hassle one tires of the constant pleas for money. As the mayor Gavin Newsom pointed out, San Francisco is not pushing these people to the outskirts like New York but trying to integrate them as best as possible. Integrating these people however is a very difficult task due to lack of education, broken family structure, drugs and violence. This is unfortunate.

2. Drivers and traffic
- When people get in their cars they turn irrational and extremely selfish. If one causes another a minor inconvenience while driving then one should expect a very large horn blast. The inconvenienced drivers rage will also hit boiling immediately and often they will step on the gas and speed around as though you called their mother a lethargic donkey.
Drivers need to chill out!

3. Driving in general
- Watch out for the Cable Cars, crazy homeless people and the fact that San Franciscans only take the "do not walk" sign as a suggestion. They will not wait for the light to walk if there is no traffic and 10% will proceed out into traffic anyway. This has become such a problem that they sometimes have police watching for jaywalkers.

4. The Weather
- As I mentioned, I do like the weather but during the Winter months it is usually gray and chilly. This is not what I had in mind when I thought of California. The temperature is usually not warm enough for shorts but I wear them anyway because I love my cargo shorts with all the pockets.

5. No Parking
- I love walking but hate having to pay $260 a month for parking when I do not even use my car that much. I keep it at a nearby hotel which requires that I have to walk 6 blocks to go get my car. When delivering groceries back to the house I must stop my car in front of the fire hydrant. I have not received a ticket yet but this is the only way to take my groceries upstairs.

6. Expensive
- If you step out the door then money will also come out of your wallet as well. If one wants to do anything in this city then it usually involves spending some cash. As for housing, forget it. A modest house is around 1 million dollars and many condos as well. One could acquire a condo for around $600,000 but you have to be quick.

7. Apartment Living
- I love that my apartment is in the center of the city. However, it is very small and spending too much time here is not so relaxing. When I travel back to Ohio my favorite thing to do is sit on the porch swing for hours just taking in the peace and quiet.

8. Noise
- Ambulances and cop cars never cease. Crazy people also like to yell ( I live in the "Tendernob" which is between the worst area "The Tenderloin" and "Nob Hill which is the best area. My neighbors are generally respectful except for the kid upstairs who likes his music. I hate to hear the Chinese neighbors arguing but love hearing my Japanese neighbor play his Hawaiian-like music.

9. The Muni (Public Transportation)
Great to get around but never on time and full of crazy people.

10. Concrete Jungle
- There are beautiful vistas but very little green. I live in a concrete paradise full of pigeons.

I do enjoy living here and the experience but will not be here forever. It will be good to read this post again in the future when I curse myself for ever leaving San Francisco.

I have recently become interested in reading about the ordinary (extraordinary) lives of expatriates through their blogs. Daily experiences, joys and frustrations of other major world cities are very fascinating to me which got me thinking. When I lived in Saigon and Tokyo I only blogged when some event left a deep impression be it cultural, political or just an event I had never experienced before. The daily, monotonous routine however was deemed not interesting enough to write about. However, now that I look back I wish I had kept more of a journal so I could go back and read what my life was like back then.

It then occurred to me that I am currently living in San Francisco but will not be here forever. Thus, it might be a good idea to write about my daily experiences which may be interesting for those living in other countries or even cities even though it is not interesting for me at present. Yet, in time I would like to come back to these posts to further understand where I had been and what my experiences were.

So without further delay, here is my ordinary day starting with a frustrating event.

After work, I often like to hit the gym across the street. It is rather small and unlike my other gym experiences I do not relate or even talk to the other members of the gym. Here in SF, people are generally friendly but at a distance. I really do not feel that close connection that came to other gym members in Tokyo or Saigon. Here I put on my headphones, work out, steam bath and shower then go home.

Yesterday, I did have an unpleasant interaction as I was on the elliptical doing my hour routine. A young blond woman came up to me and asked how much time I had left. I told her about twenty minutes. She told me I had already been on for thirty minutes and there was a time limit. I replied that there were other machines available and that I was not getting off. So she went to a young staff member who came over and told me I had to get off the machine. I replied that there were other machines available but the blond chick said this one was a "little different." So, realizing I could not win this round I did get off but then asked to see Tony the manager. I explained that the intent of the rule was if all machines were occupied then out of courtesy one needs to limit their time but not if 90% of the other machines are open. I also told him this was the second time this woman has asked me to get off the machine.

He agreed with me and said he would talk to the bimbo and his staff member. Apparently I had won but am wondering if this chick will come up to me again. If this happens then my strategy is to have a sit down discussion with her and the manager to sort this thing out.

I am amazed by my capacity to resolve a dispute while keeping my emotions under control. Sure, I would like to express that "this bitch is pissing me off," but realize that in order to win I simply have to outsmart them and use reason to get a desired outcome.

I also am trying to fight the urge to compare this situation to Asia. In Japan and Saigon this had never happened because the people are more respectful of each other and I have never experienced someone taking advantage of a rule for their own personal benefit. This also could be another "culture shock" as perhaps in this culture (big city life) people are quite selfish.

After the gym I tried to put it out of my mind by watching the Wizard of Oz in preparation for the musical Wicked. It has been quite difficult to forget about it as the battle might not be through but if I am trying to adjust my mindset and think of it as an opportunity for growth.

After the movie was over I went to bed only to be awakened by a car alarm at 3:00am. This alarm went off three times for a total of 15 minutes. At that moment I was thinking about going out to flatten the tires of this car or at least hoping someone would call the police which odds are probably did happen. A car alarm going off at 3am in this neighborhood has effectively awoken at least 600 people. Odds are someone called the cops. And, if I flattened the tires it would probably just set off the alarm again.

This morning I had a very important meeting with a large customer whose sales have tanked quite badly. I went with an upper level colleague of mine so we could strategize together. The meeting went well and we did identify a few areas where we could be a great resource helping the customer save time and money but the issue is this "boss" cannot mandate to the four buildings. I do have a great relationship with these buildings but the challenge will be getting them to cooperate, standardize and allow us to take over some of their existing business.

The weather is uncharacteristically cold and wet. A perfect opportunity to clear out a bit of the administration/follow up work which I have just completed.

Today is also Friday yet working from home I never have that feeling of Friday elation. I do my work, wait on 5:00 but at five no joy magically appears. I then try to decide what to do as it is Friday but even though there are a lot of options I find myself very indecisive. When you live in the city, even though there are many things to do, they have all been done before. On one hand I want to be productive or at least do something that will bring joy. Yet, I cannot shake this feeling of melancholy.

It at this moment I think of Saigon and the wonderful expatriate crowd there. I had a complete list of contacts that were most likely already out and about and nothing could be better than having a few drinks and conversing with them and their distinct points of view.

I tried to replicate that here by going to a bar down the street that is full of Asian barmaids and they even have a dart board. Yet, nobody plays darts and the conversation is very boring. The last conversation I heard was someone discussing movies and how "Bad Santa" was the best movie ever made. These guys just get drunk and have a dumb conversation. No other way to put it really.

I did join a few language clubs which did seem interesting and it is fun to speak another language but the fact is these people are strangers. Again, one just cannot connect with others as easily as in Asia.

So what to do with myself tonight? Go to the gym and pick a fight with the blond bitch,, er, I mean, young woman? Go to the bar and listen to boring conversation? Maybe just watch a movie, read, or play an online game? Go out to a restaurant which I have done 1000 times before?

It would seem that my batteries are drained and I could use a vacation. City life does wear on you and I rarely escape. Tomorrow I am going golfing with my ex-colleagues which should be fun but unfortunately there is rain in the forecast.

I'll leave it at that since writing does not seem to be dissipating the melancholy. At least I'll always have a record of the last 48 hours.

Until the next adventure I remain,

Mateo

What a crazy title.

These are topics that have been on my mind for some time and are consistently brought up in the media. I'm not even sure exactly where to begin but let's start with the comfort and camaraderie that come with being part of a group.

No, even better to start with self identity and our search for one. One caveat however, there is much more to adolescence and I'm just going to generalize here in order to get to a more important point.

When we are kids we aren't exactly concerned with "self-identity" but instead want to be part of a group which makes us feel secure. Then around middle school one often wants to differentiate themselves a little bit in order to be "cool" and "special." So we pick our favorite teams, buy cool sneakers and listen to certain music. If others pick the exact same things as another offense could be taken and it becomes "you can't like them because I like them!!" Of course a certain amount of sameness is inevitable and others are allowed to like a few of the same things you do which then forms sort of a quasi-group and the feeling of being included. A good example is "boy bands" such as New Kids on the Block, Jonas Brothers etc. If a youth did not like them then they might feel excluded which is not desirable.

This post is not about adolescence however. Moving on to High School being part of a group has serious consequences and depending on which group one joins really determines a large part of the social life for four entire years! Continuing on, in college the former H.S. groups are broken up and we all get a "re-do."

Now that we are adults we find ourselves without a constant circle of friends but still find the need to be part of a group. The first and easiest way is to enthusiastically support your favorite sports team. One wears the uniforms, goes to tailgates and this is comforting because you can be surrounded by people who like the same thing you do and makes us feel included. Then there are those who in determining their identity find it would be useful to support the rival-team even though there is no apparent connection or affiliation but does serve the purpose of being "different" or unique.

In the USA most people do not bother to research exactly why this social phenomenon takes place. The easy answer is the team is supported because it actually supports the community and is part of the community. Being part of the community ourselves it only follows that we would support the community we happen to be in. But looking further we must look back to our roots in England. Villages would support their lords, and during jousts wave the banners of their villages against another. (Very brief explanation there). In America we find those bonds severed and turned to our universities as pillars of the community thus fulfilling the need to be part of the community. However, I believe we are more tolerant here in America of opposite teams and do get along better unlike the Hooligans and national soccer matches. For them, there is much more at stake then simply loosing a game but is rather taken as a match to show National/Community superiority.

However, sports teams are not enough. Soon our interests may turn to politics which used to be rather staid and boring except for the upper class which could actually make things happen and further enrich them. The common man got to vote but they were pretty easily persuaded one way or another and could be manipulated. Now, due to the media and race for ratings politics has become something where everyone can participate and is divided neatly into two camps, Republican and Democrat. Even those that are not politically astute can participate as current beliefs will fall neatly into one camp or the other. The lines do blur quite often, but the media would have us believe that you must be for or against, "with us or against us," a Republican or RINO (Republican In Name Only).

This does serve a great purpose in that the simple minded can be easily divided and that all difficult answers have an easy solution which is to simply join one party or the other. Again,the lines do blur but the media would not want us to think so. The extremes are on both sides but the Republicans gain more notoriety as of recent because most "middle-of the road" folks have voted Democratic leaving only the "hard core" Republicans who have hijacked the mouth peace of the Republican Party. Rush Limbaugh, Savage, and so on have been called "the mouthpiece of the Republican Party." This only serves to damage American politics as a whole since it is my view neither side should gain too much power and that extreme right further damages Republican credibility and takes away from even-minded Republicans. On a positive note for Republicans, Americans in general will go "middle of the road" and the pendulum will swing back eventually. However, I do believe Obama is doing a good job even if the Democratic Congress is not. Don't agree with the Obama statement? Read on...

The Democrats on the other hand are being degraded by Nancy Pelosi who has done a spectacularly awful job as Speaker of the House. Bush divided America quite enough and now Nancy is doing the same but on the other side. It is my view that Obama is much more of a "uniter" than George W. ever was but is being sucker punched by Pelosi who is too arrogant to let Obama tell her what to do and thus we simply have a political pissing contest.

Getting back to being part of a group, it is curious that we now wear our political affiliations on our sleeve just like we do our sports teams. I'm also surprised that we do not yet have team like uniforms to show which political party we support! What we do have is the sports like mentality where should the other side have a point of view, there is a knee-jerk reaction to oppose it because it's from the other team!!!

It is quite evident in that should the Democratic President make one tiny misstep the media will pounce and everyone goes up in arms. There really is no way to win in this type of mentality. If Obama encourages debate, the other team will say he is not bold enough to make decisions. And if he makes a decision they will all be considered wrong by "the other team."

This could be simple push back after 4 years of criticizing Bush. In any case, thoughtful, rational debate has long fled from America and now it's all sensationalism. When I listen to arguments from both sides it is simply regurgitating arguments that people hear on the media and is really not very sophisticated at all. Take the stimulus for example, it does stink but what are the other options? One side will say "he put us all into debt forever, get him outta there!!

Yes, we are in debt forever this is true. However, without it our economy will cease to function and the very people saying this will probably lose their jobs for which they would blame Obama for that too!! Again, it's true that the stimulus stinks but it's simple minded to blame one side or the other for the current mess, rather it is simply convenient! Why not have the government do nothing. endure some serious pain, then everyone can blame Obama for the pain. AND it's easy to blame only one person or another regardless that the office of President is subject to political lobbies, various state and politician interests and does need to rely on an army of advisors. No need to dig into all of this though as the media would have us think we can just blame the President which makes things so simple.

The simplification of every complex issue does nothing to strengthen the nation. Sensationalizing every issue does not advance the merits of issues either. Now we see people getting angry in the media when there is disagreement. This is extremely childish in my opinion. It is like saying; "Wow, you are very angry, I can see your point so much more clearly now. If you got even angrier I might even agree with you." Or perhaps it is just to show the level of loyalty to one team or another. After the broadcast those in question can retreat to their team clubhouse and all the comrades will say "You the Man!! You go so angry over there, but on point X, I think you could do kick the anger up a notch."

The anger could also stem from a very self-centered society and if we don't get what we want we become angry. Just like a child throws a tantrum remember this tactic and believe that since we are angry we have more of a chance to be pacified. "Look at me I'm angry, please let me have what I want and agree with my opinion!!"

If there was a show which showed calm rational debate it is one I would absolutely watch. I don't really want to hear the same mantras regurgitated over and over. Yet, this is unavoidable because if we really dug into the issues they would quickly become boring. It's much easier and attracts more followers if the media appeals to emotions and keeps things lively. I'm just waiting for a political reality show where a Democrat and Republican are forced to live together, decide which OC queen to date and who can sing the best. Then we could just support the coolest one and not worry about these troublesome issues!! "Well, the Republican gal is a hottie and dates the strapping David AND she can Tango!!!" What is not to support???

So being all grown up but still needing to be part of a group the political parties can serve this purpose. It also has the added bonus of making us feel smart and sophisticated when we talk about such adult things as politics. Yet, there is another group and is the main issue of this post.

Being regarded as "American" or part of any nation for that matter is the ultimate group and has been used by various governments to legitimize themselves and advance goals. Not so long ago you were un-American if you didn't support the war. This is extremely powerful because people generally like America and when you call them un-American it might strike a deep cord. It basically boils down to "agree with me or else you cannot be part of your own nation anymore." This is the dumbest thing I could think of to tell someone. America by nature is made up of immigrants with different points of view and it is exactly this fact which makes America great! To make something stronger it takes people to come in, not conform share opinions and then seemingly by magic things improve!!!

Sports teams know this and will steal a player from another team to become stronger. They will NOT simply gripe and moan about the other team being stronger. However, in politics it is a very difficult thing to actually consider the other side, and really take it in. It is much more fun to simply get emotional then to truly study, keep an open mind and consider why the other side could be right.

But now to my grand and final point. I long for the day when we can truly do this among nations. Currently, we think it fashionable to be "international" and travel. But what hasn't happened is we do not have the ability to truly understand and simply look at them from the bedrock of our own culture and compare and contrast from the prison/prism of our own culture. Of course there are major obstacles such as language, proximity and so on but for everyone to make an honest effort to truly understand each other would be nirvana. (Diversity courses should be banned though).

Unfortunately, this curiosity is not there in this country and we've become more of a "agree with me or else" society. This is my team, if you wear the other color I automatically dislike you because you are not like me. This is my political affiliation and if you do not agree you make me uncomfortable. This is my country and we never make mistakes. You on the other hand are from a far away place, speak a strange language and I really cannot relate to you so either become like me or else.

I long for the day when we can break down all of these barriers but we are not even close yet. In America, we broke down the tribes which was a great feat. Yet, we set up new barriers in politics and by using Nationalism.

The people I admire most are those whose opinions I do not share but can explain calmly and rationally why they think the way they do. These people can also be persuaded to actually abandon their own viewpoint when presented with logical arguments. I admire people who can go to other nations, immerse themselves in it and thus seem almost indistinguishable between the two cultures. These are people I can really learn from and I hope is the direction we are headed.

Again, I think we have broken a major barrier by mixing all types of people here in America. The next step would be to consider ourselves humans and global citizens and even do away with national boundaries!

Now that last point probably seems absurd but I ask why? Individuals became tribes, Tribes became Nations, Nations became Empires and they have all been broken down and rebuilt throughout history. Yet, we become hardened with our sports teams, hardened with our political affiliations and God forbid think of switching national identity ......................................... unless the individual in question is switching to an American then it's ok!

But why is this? The national identity is so strong here that even mentioning the topic probably seems blasphemous. An example of how strongly we think of our national identity goes like this.
- An American consular official asks if my wife wants to become a citizen of the USA
- I tell him No, she is Japanese and wants to stay Japanese
- The official is taken aback as if he cannot comprehend why someone would not want to be American.

I can even sense some readers being appalled at this and that proves my point. It's ok to get out and explore and not be bound by anything limiting, sports teams, political affiliation and yes, even nationality. If we harp on Freedom so much then how about the Freedom to be completely free? Could I have a global passport? Or how about a passport to let me into countries I'm curious about and promise to learn the language and history. Is that such a bad thing? I feel in the current environment this is extremely taboo which is a shame.

Break down every boundary and set your mind free!

Once again, long time no post. I've been extremely uninspired lately and feeling a bit disconnected. "Disconnected" seems like an ironic word to use since I'm now flooded with information on a daily basis through my PDA, Google Sidebar, news and magazines. Yet, for some reason I feel like this information really does not help me understand anything at all!

While living abroad, I was exposed to so many new things and experiences. Couple that with the grave mishaps (the Bush administration) America was up to I always had the drive to write. Here in America I feel like I'm constantly subjected to one big advertisement telling me to buy something and the wonderful experiences that I had in Asia no longer happen here. Instead, new "experiences" are simply different ways to spend money.

It might be that living in the city has something to do with this. There are always things to do but require sums of money to do. Restaurants, shopping, even Napa involve money. Also, the constant noise, honking, sirens make me unable to concentrate unless I'm at work. Throughout the workday I only think about my accounts and sales opportunities which, while good for my career, do nothing for personal growth.

Thus, my longing to return to Asia. In Asia I feel like I can "slow down," spend time with interesting people and always be learning. Here, I feel like I'm simply always spending.

To get away from spending I turn to information, the news, magazines, etc. Yet, I feel like I never really learn anything. For example, I've spend a lot of time trying to figure out the whole "economic stimulus" idea yet have gotten nowhere. I read the "Economist" and listen to politicians from both sides but in a nutshell this is what I hear.

1. We need a large stimulus to revive the economy. We have to get the banks lending again.
2. What happened to the last stimulus package? Nobody is quite sure!!!!!
3. Will the new package work? --- Absolutely no real answers.

As for the hope that the politicians will be able to help, that is fading quickly. I still support Obama but the whole fiasco with Tom Dashle in health care puts a damper on this. I cannot understand why someone who is supposed to manage national programs cannot manage his own affairs!!! As for the economic team, I think Summers will do a good job and there are plenty of smart people in there AND they must do SOMETHING but no matter how hard I try to understand I feel like nobody really has the answer and this package will not work just like the first one did not.

The scary thing is that nobody is sure how far this thing will go. In the news the benchmark is that things will be tough through 2009 but should be improving in 2010. Yet, the reality is that this thing could be very very severe with the entire American financial system in complete meltdown at the extreme end. Even though the probability of that being on the low side, America could enter into a "dead economic period" such as that of Japan during the 90's.

For me, all this economic talk does not affect me directly and will not until heaven forbid I get a pink slip from my employer. I hear all this bad economic talk but am still able to sell and did make goal last year and am just a bit under this year. Personally, I've never been in a better position financially. During the "boom times" I found it more difficult to maneuver than I do now so it would seem I move in an opposite way to the actual economy and what the news is broadcasting.

Even if I were to get laid off which is unlikely, I have an escape hatch right back to Asia where I could always find work even if there would be a big pay cut. For me, money does not translate to happiness. Happiness is reserved for new experiences and "living life to the fullest" which does not mean I have to spend money. The only area where money comes into play is providing for my wife and future family which would involve a house, kid etc.

Therefore, the only solution I can find to actually "be happier" is to cut out the news, ignore the honking horns and not rely on my environment to provide happiness but instead to make it a "mental state." This can be done but I honestly think it was much easier to accomplish when I was in Asia.

Yet, should I move from San Francisco I know I would sorely miss this town just as I missed Tokyo when in Saigon, and Saigon now that I am here.

Therefore, what have I learned since being here?
1. Money does not buy happiness.
2. I am extremely restless always looking for new experiences.
3. The news does nobody any good and only puts me in a bad mood.
4. I am addicted to information (including the news) and will read it anyway.
5. It's harder to relax in a city.
6. I really enjoy the peacefulness of my parents porch swing in Ohio but would get bored if I went there to live (In Ohio,,, not with my parents).
7. I like reading the Economist put get tired of the economic angle on everything and would really like to read more from a social point of view.
8. I am more informed but have less answers.

To wrap this post up, I feel as though it is not as exciting as my former posts. Yet, this is my mental state at the moment and it might make good reading for my expatriate/foreign friends. Now, the rest of the day will be spent at the gym, reading the economist and news and playing video games. Seems I'm in a bit of a cycle with no real out at the moment.